How to Help Students Thrive in School: 5 Proven Tips

My daughter wakes up before dawn for school. She's a dawdler, and most days I'm hurrying her along so we're not late. After days of yelling, "Come on, come on, come on!" I told her that if she's late for school, then she doesn't get to go to her gymnastics class that week. That might seem extreme for a five-year-old, but I want her to learn now that we're not late to school. It's that important.

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As parents, we would all agree that we value education. However, sometimes our actions, priorities, and schedules reflect otherwise. Some examples of this are talking negatively about the school or teacher in front of your child, allowing your child to miss school without being sick, and scheduling so many after-school activities that there's no time for homework and reading.

When I taught fourth and fifth grades, I told my students that school was their job. I paid them in knowledge, not money, but knowledge was better. No one can take it away. It becomes a part of you. This should be how we value education. Our children will only value it as much as they see us value it.

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Every school year presents new challenges and opportunities. We want so much for our children, that the weight of all they could (and maybe should) be doing can bog us down. But it's important to focus on one goal for the year instead of a long list of hopes that are hard to attain. You can measure one goal more easily.

This year my goal for my kindergartener is for her to continue to develop a love for learning. In the early grades, keeping motivation high is vital for preparation of the intermediate years when school becomes harder. Sure, I could have the goal for her to learn to read chapter books or solve simple math equations, but you have to remember that those skills are developmental, and most likely, outside of learning challenges, all students eventually learn them.

When thinking about your goal for your student, think past academics. Education is more than just learning from a textbook. Think about:

• Character goals
• Work ethic goals
• Friendship goals
• Leadership goals

Even when learning is a challenge you can remember your goal and look to see progress in your student.

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In our American school system, we assess a child's learning by using standardized tests. Although there has to be some type of measurement system, a standardized test doesn't measure everything. Children's intelligence, ability, and aptitude go beyond skills, usually reading and math, measured on a standardized test.

The reality is that usually, a child is stronger in one of the disciplines - reading or math. A child is not going to be great at every academic subject. Then, often she performs best in an area not measured by the test, like the arts.

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Remember, the key is to keep motivation high. It's important to find out what your child loves and is good at so that he can look at that activity to drive him when the other subjects are hard or not interesting. Maybe it's art, drama, design, photography, music, or athletics. The list is endless. But the key is finding out what your child loves and is good at doing.

We tend to measure success by people who have been gifted with careers requiring a lot of education and in return big paychecks. For example: doctors and lawyers. However, that's not how God's economy works. God has given each of us abilities and interests that He knows we need to fulfill His purposes. He's the one who holds our lot (Psalm 16:5), and that lot is good. For our students to thrive, we need to remember this for them.

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There seem to be two possible extremes in the parent/teacher relationship:

1. The Controller: This is the parent who wants it done her way. This is the trap I fall into. Since I used to be a teacher, it has been hard for me to give up control of my daughter's learning. I have philosophies and ideas about how children learn best and so does her teacher. Sometimes those are not the same.
    
2. The Avoider: This is the parent who gives up responsibility, thinking it's only the teacher's responsibility to educate their child. When that doesn't happen smoothly, it's the teacher's fault.

In order to help our students thrive in school, we can't be a controller or an avoider. We must be a team member with our child's teacher. It's as if we've "hired" the teacher in a sense to come alongside us and help us with the task of educating our child. This means we both have a responsibility, but because God has entrusted our children to us, more of the responsibility will always lie with us as parents. Our job as parents is to partner with whoever is tasked with helping us to give our children the best education within our circumstances to give them.

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In my situation, my daughter goes to kindergarten for half a day. So a few days a week when she gets home, I supplement what she's doing at school with what I feel like she needs. I won't always have time to do this, nor will she have the stamina after going to school all day, but for now it works for us. The summer is also a great time to provide enrichment or remediation help for your child when she needs it.

Our children need to know that we are on the same team, working together to help them learn. In order for teamwork to happen, there has to be consistent and open communication. It's never a good situation when a student thinks they can play a parent or a teacher against one another for his benefit.

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I am a former reading teacher, so I cannot emphasize the importance of reading to your child enough. Research shows over and over the profound effects of reading to your children have on:
 

• Their minds,
• Their ability to learn,
• And their future academics. 

And yet, I'm still amazed at how many people do not read or read enough. Nightly reading is often viewed as extra homework "if we get to it." But I make the argument that it's not homework at all. We read because we are alive and we are human. Reading is like brushing your teeth, you just do it.

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Make it a priority to read to your student for at least 20 minutes every day. Even middle and high school students benefit from being read aloud to. Some ways to fit reading into your schedule is to read while waiting at doctor's appointments or at a sibling's extracurricular activity.

My girls start school at different times, so during that thirty-minute window I take books and read to my youngest daughter while we wait. You can read at mealtimes and of course, bedtime is always popular. It's doesn't have to be well organized or complicated, just read!

Brenda Rodgers considers herself a “recovering single” after years as a single woman chasing after marriage instead of chasing after Jesus. Now her passion is to mentor young women to live purposefully and grow in their relationship with God and others. Brenda has been married for five years to a heart transplant hero and is the mom of a toddler girl miracle. She is also the author of the eBook Fall for Him: 25 Challenges from a Recovering Single. You can also read more on Brenda’s blog, www.TripleBraidedLife.com and follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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