I encourage our children – and so many others whose lives Wendy touched – to go out and live like their mother. We can all do this by letting the light of Christ shine through us brightly, loving those around us who are hurting and in need of the Savior.
After 34 years of our marriage, my wife, Wendy, recently passed away following a hard-fought battle with ALS, commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. Despite the challenges, it was an honor for me to faithfully serve as my wife’s caregiver throughout her four-year battle and to see our children step up and grow into the legacy of faith their mother taught them.
Here are a few of those lessons we try to live out in her memory today:
Just Love
Wendy loved people. She never “judged a book by its cover,” loving them no matter what. No, as with all of us, she didn’t always like everybody, but she loved even the unlikeable. Loving was not optional for her, and her door was never closed. Wendy had a welcoming face that said, “I see you, and you matter to me. I’m listening.” And then she listened.
Wendy believed that if you don’t love others selflessly, you aren’t truly Jesus’ disciple. Yet, that very principle propelled Wendy to love not just people but life itself. She had a special way of making every situation fun, drawing everyone into the conversation or the activity at hand. No one was an outsider when Wendy was in the room. There were no lonely people in Wendy’s world. Reaching out to them was a natural outpouring of her gratitude for Jesus’ own love for her—despite her weaknesses and faults, which never ceased to humble her.
A Spirit of Gratitude
Despite the indescribably difficult challenges she faced on her journey to the end, Wendy remained steadfastly upbeat and hopeful. Various ones in the ALS support groups had warned me that this disease could transform even the kindest, gentlest person into someone mean and angry. God be praised, this was far from true for Wendy! All I ever heard from her was, “You’re doing a wonderful job” (even when I probably wasn’t!). And “Thank you,” “Thank you,” “Thank you.” After hearing her say “Thank you” so often, I told her she didn’t have to thank me all the time. “But I am thankful,” she insisted! Her heart of constant gratitude was not simply a response to the Bible’s call for gratitude, but because she genuinely felt so grateful for what her Lord and Savior had done for her.
Share the Light
When Wendy passed away, many people said, “I don’t understand why God would allow Wendy to be taken from us. Why would God let her beautiful light go out of this world?” But it’s the wrong question. Why not Wendy? We live in a broken world where death looms for each of us. It’s just a matter of timing. And because this world is not our ultimate home, death is the doorway to our true home where there will be no more death or the parting of loved ones…or questions! In the meantime, Wendy’s special light should live on in each of us. If her love illuminated the way for someone in particular, I urge them to not let her light go out. In her memory, make it shine brighter and brighter!
Life Is a Vapor
For 14 years, Wendy and I taught a Bible study for college students in our home. One of the most memorable lessons was from James, chapter 4, about how our life is like a vapor. That particular study is especially memorable because, when I would get to that passage and read those words, Wendy would always spray her plant mister into the air as an illustration. “That’s it,” she would say. “That’s all the time you get. What are you going to do with it? What are you going to spend your time on? Are you going to be more concerned about personal, fleeting cares, or the things that count for eternity?” She had no idea then that her life would be a vapor lasting only 53 years.
So many of the “kids” we taught (now with their own families) came to her memorial service and expressed the impact that lesson about passing vapors made on their lives. They said they would always remember that night in our home, with Wendy spraying her plant mister! Even now, it helps them live intentionally and authentically, not just punching the clock and not just “playing church.”
If the Church had thousands of “Wendy’s,” we would be doing what we’re commanded to do—loving others the way God first loved us (1 John 3:16-18). We would love people without question, regardless of their flaws, sins, or weaknesses. And—by that very approach—we would be making disciples (Matthew 28:19-20).
I encourage our children – and so many others whose lives Wendy touched – to go out and live like their mother. We can all do this by letting the light of Christ shine through us brightly, loving those around us who are hurting and in need of the Savior. That’s what Wendy would want us to do, and I can think of no better way to honor her life as a Christian mother today.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes
Dirk Smith is Vice President of EEM (Eastern European Mission), which has been providing Bibles to the people of Eastern Europe since 1961, now reaching 32 countries in 26 languages. They provided 2 million Bibles and Bible-based materials free of charge in the region in 2023, including in public schools in Croatia, Hungary, Ukraine and North Macedonia. Learn more at www.eem.org.
