Raising Adopted Children with Christian Values

Emmanuel Abimbola

Embarking on the journey of raising adopted children is a profound experience, filled with both unique challenges and unparalleled joys. It's a path that, although different from biological parenting, carries its own set of blessings and complexities.

As someone who believes in the Christian values that guide my perspective on family, this journey becomes an opportunity to live out those principles in a tangible and impactful way.

One of the distinctive challenges of raising adopted children is navigating the intricacies of their past. Unlike biological children, adopted kids often come with a history that may include trauma, loss, or uncertainty. As a Christian parent, it becomes essential to approach these challenges with love, compassion, and the understanding that God's plan extends to every corner of their story.

Yet, within these challenges, there lies a unique beauty. The joy of seeing a child blossom and grow within the safety of a loving Christian home is truly unparalleled. Every milestone achieved, every hurdle overcome, becomes a testament to the power of love and faith. 

In those moments, I witness the redemptive nature of God's love in action, as the challenges of the past transform into stepping stones toward a brighter future.

Moreover, the joy of building a family through adoption is a reflection of God's act of adopting us into His spiritual family. The Bible tells us in Ephesians 1:5, "Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will." This verse reminds us that adoption is not only a human endeavor but a divine concept woven into the fabric of our faith.

As Christian parents, we are called to emulate God's unconditional love and acceptance. In doing so, we find joy not just in our children's achievements but in the very act of providing a secure and nurturing environment where they can discover their identity and purpose in Christ.

Therefore, even though parenting adopted children presents special challenges, those difficulties are eclipsed by the immense happiness that comes from being a part of a journey led by faith, love, and God's unending grace.

Why We Must Instill Christian Values in Their Upbringing

Instilling Christian values in the upbringing of adopted children is not just a noble endeavor; it is a sacred responsibility that shapes their character, moral compass, and spiritual foundation. As a Christian parent, I believe that the values derived from biblical principles provide an enduring framework that goes beyond societal norms, offering a timeless guide for navigating life's complexities.

The essence of Christian values lies in the teachings of Jesus Christ, who serves as the ultimate role model for love, compassion, and righteousness. By imparting these values to adopted children, we not only equip them with a moral compass but also nurture a deep understanding of their identity as beloved children of God.

In a world that often challenges and distorts ethical standards, Christian values serve as a steadfast anchor. Teaching concepts such as love, forgiveness, humility, and integrity provides adopted children with a solid framework for ethical decision-making. These values not only contribute to their personal growth but also empower them to positively influence the world around them.

Moreover, the teachings of Jesus encourage us to extend grace and forgiveness, fostering an environment where adopted children can learn resilience and empathy. By exemplifying these values ourselves, we create a home filled with the warmth of God's love, where every member of the family feels accepted, valued, and understood.

As Christian parents, our goal is not just to raise well-behaved children but to cultivate individuals who carry the light of Christ into the world. By instilling Christian values, we contribute to the development of a generation grounded in principles that transcend temporal trends and cultural shifts.

Love Must Be the Foundation for Christian Parenting

As a Christian parent raising adopted children, the significance of love as the cornerstone of our parenting approach cannot be overstated. Love, in its purest form, is not just an emotion but a commitment—an intentional choice to emulate God's unwavering love for us. 1 Corinthians 16:14 says, "Let all your things be done with charity," emphasizing that love should be the driving force behind every action, decision, and interaction within our families.

This love serves as a powerful source of strength, providing a secure and nurturing environment where adopted children can thrive emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. It's a love that transcends circumstances and challenges, echoing God's boundless love for His adopted children.

In Romans 8:38-39, the Apostle Paul beautifully expresses this truth: "For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

This powerful affirmation underscores the eternal nature of God's love—a love that remains unaltered despite our shortcomings. As Christian parents, we draw inspiration from this divine example, recognizing that our love for our adopted children should mirror God's love—unconditional, unwavering, and capable of withstanding any storm.

Practical Tips for Fostering Security and a Sense of Belonging

Open communication: Encourage a safe space for open communication where adopted children feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and emotions. Create an environment where questions are welcomed and answered with patience and honesty.

Establishing routines: Consistency in routines provides a sense of stability and predictability. This is particularly important for adopted children, helping them feel secure in their daily lives.

Celebrating uniqueness: Embrace and celebrate the uniqueness of each child, recognizing their strengths, interests, and talents. This fosters a sense of belonging and acceptance within the family unit.

Incorporating family traditions: Create and uphold family traditions that strengthen the sense of belonging. Whether it's a weekly family dinner, special holidays, or shared activities, these traditions contribute to a sense of unity and connection.

Affirmation and affection: Regularly express love and affection. Verbal affirmation, hugs, and acts of kindness go a long way in reassuring adopted children of their place within the family and reinforcing the concept of love as a foundational element of their upbringing.

In doing these, we create a nurturing environment where adopted children not only feel secure and valued but also experience firsthand the power of God's unconditional love reflected in our Christian parenting.

Teaching Our Adopted Kids Biblical Principles

Here are some examples of how we can incorporate biblical principles into the daily activities of our adopted children:

Morning devotions: Begin the day by gathering as a family for a brief devotional time. Share a Bible verse like Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Let them know how this verse encourages trust in God's guidance and can be applied to all aspects of their lives.

Mealtime gratitude: Before meals, express gratitude for the provision of food. Encourage your adopted child to participate by thanking God for the meal. 

Acts of kindness: Teach the value of kindness through daily actions. Encourage your child to perform small acts of kindness, like helping a sibling or being considerate to others. 

Bedtime stories with a message: Choose bedtime stories that convey biblical principles of love, compassion, and morality. After reading, discuss the moral lessons with your child.

Patience in challenges: When faced with challenges or frustrations, teach patience by exemplifying calmness and reliance on God. 

Forgiveness practice: Encourage forgiveness by resolving conflicts with grace. Remind your child of Ephesians 4:31-32, which says, "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice; and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."

By intertwining biblical principles with the daily rhythm of your adopted child's life, you create a seamless integration of faith into their experiences, fostering a deep understanding of God's Word and its practical application in their journey of growth and character development.

Navigating Identity: Embracing Their Unique Story

Dealing with identity is a significant aspect of raising adopted children, and as a Christian parent, it is essential to approach this journey with sensitivity, openness, and the guiding principles of faith. Here are some guidelines to help adopted children navigate questions about their identity:

Open and honest communication: Create a space where your adopted child feels comfortable asking questions about their adoption and origin. Be honest and age-appropriate in your responses, emphasizing the love and intentionality behind the adoption.

Celebrate their unique story: Emphasize the uniqueness of their story and the beauty of being chosen and loved. Share positive aspects of their background, highlighting the special qualities that make them who they are. 

Address identity questions with faith: When questions about identity arise, remind them that their ultimate identity is found in Christ. Galatians 3:26 says, "For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus." This emphasizes the spiritual identity that transcends earthly ties.

Connect with supportive communities: Seek communities and support groups for adoptive families. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can provide a sense of belonging and understanding. This sense of community can be especially beneficial during moments of identity exploration.

Encourage self-discovery: Support your adopted child in exploring their interests, talents, and passions. Engage in activities that allow them to discover and express who they are. Reinforce in them the idea that God has a purpose for each individual.

Professional guidance when needed: If identity-related questions become complex or challenging, consider seeking professional guidance from counselors or therapists experienced in adoption issues. A trained professional can provide additional insights and support.

Remember, the journey of identity for adopted children is a process that evolves. By fostering an atmosphere of love, faith, and acceptance, you empower your child to embrace their unique story and confidently walk in the knowledge that they are cherished members of both your earthly family and God's eternal family.

Dear fellow parents, on the beautiful journey of raising adopted children, let us embrace this journey with open hearts, boundless love, and unshakable faith. The road may be filled with twists, turns, and unexpected challenges, but it is also adorned with unparalleled joys and the power of God's love.

Let’s bear in mind that raising adopted children is a unique and sacred calling, one that requires a depth of love that mirrors the boundless, unconditional love our Heavenly Father has lavished upon us. As we embark on this extraordinary voyage, don’t forget that love is more than a mere emotion but a deliberate choice—an intentional commitment to shower our children with the same grace and acceptance that God bestows upon us daily.

Through the lens of Christian values, we find a roadmap for this journey—one that leads us to virtues such as kindness, patience, forgiveness, and unwavering love. These principles, drawn from the timeless truths of the Bible, become the cornerstone of our parenting, shaping the character, resilience, and moral compass of our beloved adopted children.

As Christian parents, we have the privilege of instilling not just values but a living faith—a faith that becomes a guiding light in the darkest moments and a source of strength in times of weakness. Our role is to nurture not just bodies and minds but souls destined for eternity. In doing so, we provide our adopted children with a solid foundation that withstands the storms of life, anchored in the unchanging love of Christ.

Sending heartfelt blessings and solidarity on this incredible journey,

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/FatCamera

Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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