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Raising Confident Children: Encouraging Self-Esteem

Emmanuel Abimbola

Emmanuel Abimbola

Contributing Writer
Published Oct 13, 2023
Raising Confident Children: Encouraging Self-Esteem

As Christian parents, it becomes our top priority to raise confident children because confidence, when anchored in the bedrock of godliness, serves as a beacon that lights their path.

In today's world, our children are constantly bombarded with conflicting messages and ungodly cultures. This makes building confidence in our children their shield against the storms of doubt and insecurity. As Christian parents, it becomes our top priority to raise confident children because confidence, when anchored in the bedrock of godliness, serves as a beacon that lights their path.

It empowers them to stand firm against peer pressure, societal expectations, and the pervasive influence of a world that often strays from godly principles.

Confidence, when deeply intertwined with self-esteem, helps nurture a quiet, unshakable belief in their self-worth as a beloved child of God. When our children are rooted in this understanding, they can face challenges with courage, approach relationships with grace, and pursue their dreams with tenacity.

Proverbs 14:26 reminds us, "In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence, and his children shall have a place of refuge." By nurturing a fear of the Lord and a deep reverence and love for God in our children, we lay the foundation for unwavering confidence in them. They find security not in fleeting worldly validations but in the eternal embrace of their Heavenly Father.

Let us embrace this noble task with zeal, knowing that in raising confident children, we are shaping not just individual destinies but also the future of a world in desperate need of God's grace and unwavering confidence.

The Connection Between Self-esteem and Confidence

I want you to think of self-esteem as the fertile soil in which the seeds of confidence are planted. Self-esteem is how our children perceive themselves, the value they place on their abilities, and the worth they believe they hold in the eyes of others. 

Self-esteem is the foundation upon which the magnificent edifice of confidence is built. When self-esteem is strong, a child believes in his capabilities, accepts his flaws, and recognizes his inherent value. Think of it as having a sturdy, unshakable base for a towering skyscraper.

Confidence, on the other hand, is like the blossoming flower that grows from this rich soil of self-esteem. It is the belief that a child can handle life's challenges, make decisions, and navigate the twists and turns of his journey. When your child is confident, he strides through life with a certain assurance, a quiet knowing that he is capable, valuable, and worthy of love and respect. 

The connection between self-esteem and confidence is akin to the relationship between roots and a tree. Just as strong roots provide stability and nourishment to a tree, healthy self-esteem feeds and nurtures our confidence. 

When our children have a positive view of themselves, recognize their worth, and believe in their abilities, their confidence naturally grows. This is a beautiful, symbiotic relationship, a harmonious tango between their perception of themselves and their belief in their capabilities.

Building a Strong Foundation of Self-worth in Early Childhood

In the years of early childhood, when little hearts are as impressionable as clay and minds are as curious as the wide, open sky, the building blocks of self-worth are meticulously laid. This crucial period becomes the canvas upon which a child's self-perception is painted, shaping the very foundation upon which they will stand throughout their lives.

We can nurture our kids' self-worth in their early childhoods through unconditional love and acceptance. Kids thrive in an atmosphere where they are cherished for simply being themselves. Therefore, by showering them with love, regardless of their achievements or failures, they will develop a profound sense of being worthy of love.

Validation and encouragement also play vital roles in this process. When children are acknowledged for their efforts, however small they might be, they learn that their actions matter. 

Simple phrases like "You did a great job!" or "I believe in you", can work wonders. This encouragement instills a sense of pride and accomplishment, reinforcing the belief that they are capable and valued individuals. 

When they stumble, our gentle guidance and reassurance as parents teach them that mistakes are a natural part of learning, not a reflection of their worth.

Empathy and active listening are also powerful tools for building self-worth. When adults empathetically listen to a child's thoughts and feelings, it makes them understand that their emotions are valid and important. 

It also shows them that they matter and are worthy of attention. This active engagement builds a sense of being heard and understood, nurturing their self-esteem. It teaches them that their thoughts and emotions are valued, laying the foundation for healthy self-worth.

Additionally, setting realistic expectations is essential in this process. Keep in mind that every child is unique, with their own pace of development and individual strengths. Therefore, acknowledging and celebrating these differences rather than forcing unrealistic standards ensures that a child doesn't feel the pressure to be someone they are not.

When children are allowed to explore their interests and passions without the weight of unachievable expectations, they develop a sense of competence and confidence, bolstering their self-worth.

Teaching them resilience is also important. Children need to learn that it's okay to fail and make mistakes in the face of challenges and setbacks. Encouraging them to persevere, learn from failures, and celebrate successes, no matter how little, cultivates a resilient mindset. It shows them that their worth isn't diminished by setbacks but is enhanced by their ability to overcome challenges.

As parents, incorporating spiritual teachings and values into their lives can be profoundly impactful. Teaching them about their inherent worth in the eyes of a loving Creator fosters a sense of divine purpose. 

Psalm 139:14, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made," instills a sense of awe and gratitude for their unique being, reinforcing their self-worth in the context of their faith. 

Also, Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." This emphasizes the significance of early guidance and nurturing. Just as a sapling needs strong roots to withstand storms, children need a solid foundation of independence, positive self-image, and resilience rooted in faith.

Other Ways We Can Build Confidence in Our Children

Encouraging Independence and Decision-making Skills in Children:

We can implant resilience and self-assurance into a child's identity by promoting independence and developing decision-making abilities. Giving kids the option to choose even the simplest activities is the first step. 

These seemingly little choices, such as what to wear or what game to play, give our kids power and build a sense of control over their lives. It also acts as a stepping stone for them as they mature, preparing them for increasingly difficult choices.

Promoting Positive Social Relationships and Friendships for the Growth of Self-Esteem:

Friendships are the colorful threads that weave a feeling of identity and self-worth into the kaleidoscopic fabric of childhood. Building relationships that grow into lifetime friendships is similar to caring for a fragile plant through healthy social interactions. 

Children may build lasting connections because we teach them the skills of empathy, compassion, and active listening. Genuine friendships teach kids the value of being accepted for who they are while also creating a solid basis for their self-esteem.

Providing Support and Guidance During Adolescence to Maintain Confidence:

During the transformative years of adolescence, the support and guidance we offer are like sturdy ships guiding them through stormy waters. 

Adolescents grapple with identity, peer pressure, and societal expectations, making our role as mentors even more vital. By being empathetic listeners, we create safe spaces where they can express their fears and dreams. By encouraging them to set realistic goals and celebrate small victories, we instill a sense of achievement in them, reinforcing their confidence. 

Empowering children to become strong and resilient individuals is a gift to the world, not just to them. In doing so, we are sowing the seeds of a future where courage triumphs over fear, compassion triumphs over prejudice, and individuals, armed with confidence and resilience, have the power to create a brighter, more compassionate world by nurturing their self-belief and teaching them the art of resilience. 

We are constructing a tomorrow filled with empowered leaders, compassionate minds, and resilient souls ready to meet the world's issues with unflinching strength and limitless optimism as we invest in their confidence now.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Rawpixel

Emmanuel Abimbola headshotEmmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.