Parenting has been a journey that has taught me about what it really means to trust God with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding.
Our family is special, or different, I should say. We started our parenting journey with a pretty small box as far as what we expected our future home to look like, and God keeps expanding our picture of what family is in new and unique ways. Parenting has been a journey that has taught me about what it really means to trust God with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Our story began with three little biological babies that brought us from living on two full-time incomes to piecing our lives together while I stayed at home during the day and then worked nights and weekends when my husband was available to tend to our kids. This season felt busy and stretched, but we were grateful to make ends meet. Once our oldest was ready for kindergarten, we knew we wanted to give him something different for his childhood. As former teachers, we wanted him to be able to explore and learn in a more free environment, so we embraced the call to homeschool. As the younger kids approached school age, we found ourselves more and more comfortable with our homeschool lifestyle and decided to have them join the fun. Covid came and confirmed homeschooling as a gift for us, as we could keep our kids' routine mostly intact while the world around us was being turned upside down.
Then, we felt the nudge to open our home as Foster Parents. We had no clue what this would look like for us, but our hearts were broken for the needs of vulnerable children and families around us, so we dove in. Fast forward, and we have two sweet gifts in our home that we are in the adoption process with. While we know adoption is not the goal of foster care, and we acknowledge the grief that accompanies adoption, for our two, it was the best option in the midst of a worst-case scenario being lived out.
Now, as our family has grown rather quickly, the needs we have in our home vary greatly. Not to mention, as parents, we are working hard to keep up with the demands that this new, big, beautiful family has. I’m finding that the decisions and routines that once worked for us are no longer working. To be completely transparent, changing things up, enlisting more help, and seeing my shortcomings is really hard. I believe in attachment parenting and homeschooling, but I also see that for our home to stay balanced, I have to let go and send the kids out more than I hoped.
Parenthood Is about Learning to Trust God
I realize I’m not the only mom who starts this journey with one narrative, and then God changes things up! I spoke to a mom today who began as a married homeschooling Mom and now is in a season where her kids are in public school, and she is learning how to be a single parent. I’ve met many families that assumed they would never homeschool, and then their family finds themselves joining a homeschooling co-op and learning a new way to school.
I know as a new mom, I believed so strongly in breastfeeding, but I have a son who was bottle-fed from birth. He is thriving even though I had to abandon my ideal in order to support his growth and development. I love baby-wearing and keeping my kiddos close, but I have a daughter that I never once got to hold as an infant, and I have to learn how to show her now at three that she is safe and loved, using different methods. God continues to call us out of our boxes on this parenting journey. It’s because the point of this journey for us is to learn to trust him with the things we love so dearly. It’s not about finding the one perfect way to parent. Perfect is a mirage when it comes to raising up dynamic humans as a flawed individual. Life together is messy.
Embrace Grace When Life Changes
Spirit-led living means that we are constantly living with open ears to what God has for us next. That means, as parents, it's never one-and-done. Our routines, strategies, and posture have to be dynamic and open to what God has for us. Not to mention, life happens. We may start as working parents, but God may provide for us to be home or vice versa. Marriage changes, sickness happens, children join the family, moves come, and we have to keep parenting through it all.
Thankfully, God is with us no matter what comes our way, and he is able to care for us along with our young, even in the craziest of circumstances. Isaiah 40:11 promises that he gently leads those who are young! That means we can rely on his wisdom and grace through every season life brings. It is not what we do that makes it right or wrong for our family; it’s whose voice is leading us that matters most.
I know that grace means laying down my pride that says this one way is the right way. It’s grace that also says that even as I make mistakes, God is there to care for me and my family. Grace separates my identity from my motherhood and looks to God to define how I love my family and who I am called to be.
God Calls Us to Follow Him as Parents
In a culture that wants to say my way is best when it comes to parenthood, God calls us to a way that can’t be articulated in a “how-to book” or be found on Pinterest. His call is just to follow his lead as we navigate a culture and world that we were all made for. Your kids were made for now and have a God-given, unique purpose they are called to fulfill. We need ears that hear God’s voice in order to prepare them for the future he has for them.
I homeschool my oldest kids, but that may not be the story for all my kids. I have friends in other countries sending their children to schools where their kids don't even speak the language because they felt God called them to places where many unreached people live. I have friends whose marriages they held tightly onto fell apart, and they are learning how to parent in a whole new way. I know parents learning to step into an open adoption and define family with big broad strokes for the sake of their children. I know working moms that invest all their nights and weekends into training their children up in the way they should go, and their kids are thriving. I know homeschooling moms who are making pure magic in their homes because they see the beauty in learning as a family unit. Each of these women I know are following God’s call as a parent, and his faithfulness is on display in their homes.
You can trust that he will care for your home, even when what you're called to next doesn’t fit in the box you started with for your family. The box keeps changing, but what is sure and true is that God is always faithful through it all.
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