They say motherhood comes naturally. I believe that may be false. When I gave birth to my first son, I had no idea how to care for him. Three sons later, my parenting skills improved, and I attempted to teach my boys things they needed to know, like right from wrong, how to tie their shoes, how to ride a bike, and thousands of other useful life skills. I wanted them to be productive and capable.
They also need to know the truth. Not the truth of the world which changes every season, but the truth of the One True God. The truth that never changes.
Proverbs 22:6, instructs parents, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” (NIV). This verse reminds us to teach our sons truth, and point them toward the things that matter. And when they grow to be husbands and fathers, they will know how to stay on the right path.
Here 10 ten truths sons need to hear from their mothers.
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1. God is the most important relationship you will ever have.
Our sons need to know that a relationship with the One True King should be above all relationships, even wives and children. Many pursuits will battle for their attention, but the important quest is the pursuit of God. No other relationship will be right until our sons put God above all things. This is a truth most men forget. They look for a better paying job, a bigger house, success, and fame when the only thing that matters is God. Nothing matters more than God.
Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37 NIV)
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2. No matter what, you are loved.
In his children's book, The Giving Tree, author Shel Silverstein writes, "And she loved a little boy very, very much—even more than she loved herself." Mothers love their sons, and nothing can change that. And nothing can change the way God loves our sons. Nothing. We need to tell our sons they are loved with an unchanging love.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39 NIV)
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3. Forgiveness is a gift.
No one is perfect. On this earth, we make mistakes, missteps, wrong choices, blunders, and miscalculations. We all fall short of perfection (Romans 3:23). That's why we need Jesus. We need forgiveness and grace. In the same way, people in our lives will make mistakes and they need our forgiveness. Our sons need to know that the greatest gift they can give to others is grace and forgiveness in the same measure they received from God.
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. (Matthew 6:14 NIV)
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4. You are an influencer.
When our sons grow to become fathers and husbands, they have an enormous influence on their families. Their choices and examples grow into the choices of their children and wives. As fathers, their children notice when they attend church, worship, and pray. When they put God first, they shape the choices of their families to do the same. Sons need to hear from their mothers that they have an immense responsibility to influence their families and future Christ-followers.
Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37 NIV)
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5. Mercy is always the best choice.
We often feel that we have the right to be angry or retaliate against others. Our attitude is that because we were wronged, we should bring judgment and retribution. The truth is we will be judged in the same way we judge others. Telling our sons the truth that justice is God's, opens the way for mercy to become the better choice.
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Matthew 7:1-2 NIV)
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6. You are enough.
The world tells our sons and children they must live and look a certain way to enjoy worth, to be beautiful and essential. This is not truth. The truth we tell our sons is that as children of God, they are princes and heirs with Christ. God created each of our sons precisely as he should be. They do not need to be more or less or, in some way, mirror the world's expectations. Our sons are enough because they are made by God and that is enough.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13 NIV)
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7. Keep your eyes on things above.
The trouble with the world is that it always has something new and exciting to offer. Shortcuts and quick fixes that never work and never last. The truth is that our treasure is in heaven. Nothing on earth can shine brighter than the gifts of eternal life. As moms, tell your sons to keep their focus on God above all the things of the world.
"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.” (Matthew 33:45-46 NIV)
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8. Be a good steward of what you have.
Scripture reminds us that everything we have we receive from above. “Everything comes from the Lord. All things were made because of him and will return to him” (Romans 11:36 NIV). Even our abilities and skills, our wealth and prosperity, are all from God. As moms of sons, we need to tell our sons to share their gifts with others. As 1 Timothy 6:19 promises, “In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.”
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9. You are never alone.
Being a father and husband is a huge responsibility and sometimes feels like a lonely job. Let us remind our sons they are never alone. God is always with them and with us. To the Israelites, He commanded, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10 NIV). He is with me, you and our sons, giving strength in all things. We are never alone.
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10. Trust in God always.
Jeremiah 17:7 says, “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.” The passage goes on to compare a man who puts his confidence in God to be like a tree planted by the river, never uprooted by problems, always prosperous and fruitful. As mothers of sons, our boys need to know that when they put their trust in God, not in the world, they will have the strength and the ability to withstand hard times. Trusting in God is our strength.
When I first became a mother, I scarcely understood how to change a diaper or feed my boys. Becoming a mother required months of mistakes and mishaps. Fortunately, my sons do not remember. What I hope they do remember is hearing these truths, that they know they are adored by their imperfect mother and loved by the everlasting God.
For this is the covenant that I will make...declares the Lord: I will put my laws into their minds, and write them on their hearts, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. (Hebrews 8:10 NIV)
Tamela Turbeville lives for every woman with a difficult past to know God loves them, they are worthy and wanted. She is wife to Richard, and mother to three grown sons and two beautiful daughters-in-law. When doing what she loves most-- studying God’s Word, reading and writing--she is surrounded by her six rescue dogs in her small office in south Arkansas. She began Living One Word to write and share how God redeems the unlovable and you can read more about Tamela, her journey, and her family at www.livingoneword.com, on Facebook, and Instagram.
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Originally published Tuesday, 25 February 2020.
