10 Ways to Embrace the Benefits of Your Singleness

The Apostle Paul writes in I Corinthians 7:8, “So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows – it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.” Why did he say that? And, why does it sometimes seem like it is harder to embrace singleness than it is to celebrate being married or in a relationship? If we aren’t careful, we can treat singleness as a death sentence or plague that has been forced upon us, rather than looking at it as a unique time of celebration. It is a time to experience some real benefits that marrieds may no longer be able to experience.

What are the benefits of singleness and how can you enjoy each and every one? Read on….

1. Self-evaluation is now.

Who are you? What do you want from life? What are the things that are most important to you? What are some great choices you’ve made? Poor choices? Your singleness is a wonderful time to reflect on what matters to you and where you want to go in life.

If at some point you begin a relationship, you’ll know who you are. Even if you never end up in a relationship, knowing yourself well is one of the most important gifts you can give yourself.

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2. Grow.

Not only is this a time of self-evaluation, but it is also a time for growth. What can you do to grow you? Do you need to start that new exercise class? Do you need to take a financial education class to repair your finances? Do you need to go back to school and finish your degree? Do you need to learn some new self-care techniques? Now’s the time to do it!

There are a lot of great single Christian authors out there tackling what it looks like to grow specifically from a single’s perspective. Check out Lydia Brownback, Annie F. Downs and Joy Beth Smith to find voices that speak to your own unique struggles and strengths.

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3. Serve others.

You can be the favorite aunt. You can offer to babysit for friends who have children. You can look for creative ways to serve others during your single season that you may not otherwise have a chance to do. The opportunities you have to serve and make a lasting impact in this world are incredible – celebrate that today!

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4. Celebrate independent decision-making.

Apart from guidance of the Holy Spirit, you are your own decision-maker. There’s no challenge that you face in regards to having to compromise with others. Compromise can be a real challenge in marriages. Just ask a married friend! Today, think about all the decisions you’ve made without needing to consult anyone, and enjoy that autonomy!

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5. Get busy doing Kingdom work.

You can grow the Kingdom more now than ever, as you focus on what the Lord wants you to do. Now is the perfect time to start that singles’ ministry at your church or launch a new book club that can enhance someone’s walk with the Lord.

For ideas on how to get involved with your local church click here.

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6. Embrace flexibility.

You don’t have the challenges of coordinating schedules with a spouse. You can jump on a plane tomorrow and visit a friend in another state, if you want. You can take an impromptu vacation if you so desire. This is much harder with a family.

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7. Develop confidence.

Now is not only the time to find out who you are, but to celebrate it! Grow your confidence. Understand that you are uniquely and wonderfully made. There are skills and talents and abilities that you have been placed on this earth to use to make a difference. Relinquish old insecurities and rejoice in who God has made you to be.

"God longs for us to be united with Him in thought and deed. Choosing to see ourselves through His eyes is a life-changing, joy-restoring act. If we have trouble delighting in ourselves, the Holy Spirit is with us to help us change our thoughts." -Jennifer O. White

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8. Explore things that make you happy.

What interests do you have? What is something you’ve been dying to do? Sky-diving? Roller blading? Pottery? There are hundreds of hobbies that people say they’d love to try but never have the time. Take this opportunity to explore the things that interest you and bring you joy. Then, stick with them.

9. Prepare for the next season.

One of the biggest challenges that newly-married couples face is thinking that their spouse now “completes” them. We’ve all heard a friend say, “He completes me.” The truth is, no one was created to complete anyone. This creates a huge strain on relationships. Your singleness is the time to ensure you are healthy in all areas, adequately prepared for the next season. Are you managing your money well or looking for someone to complete you? Are you managing your health well or looking for someone to motivate you? Are you parenting your children well or looking for someone to do it for you?

10. Celebrate friendships.

One of the biggest joys the Lord gives us is friends. Singles have the wonderful opportunity to nurture friendships more so now than in a potential future season of marriage, when different responsibilities limit our time. This is a time to go kayaking with friends or have unscheduled movie nights. This is the time to nurture old friendships and create new ones.

Jennifer Maggio is an award-winning author and speaker who has a passion to see the body of Christ live life in total freedom. She is founder of The Life of a Single Mom Ministries, reaching more than 71,000 single mothers annually. She has been featured in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Moody Radio, Dr. James Dobson Radio, Trinity Broadcasting Network, and others. For more information, visit http://www.jennifermaggio.com.

Originally published Wednesday, 07 February 2018.