Trusting after a major lie, heartbreak, or betrayal can be extremely difficult. For many individuals, it can feel as though you can never trust that person, or anyone else, again. In some cases, the guilty party can never be trusted again, and it can ruin what was once a great friendship or relationship. Honesty and truth are highly important in any friendship or relationship, yet it is not uncommon for lies, heartbreaks, and betrayal to come into the picture.
If you have been hurt by a lie, heartbreak, or betrayal, here are four reasons to trust again:
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The first reason to trust again is to move on. Lies, heartbreaks, and betrayals can cause us to become stagnant in our life. It is not uncommon to start having a hard time trusting anyone once we are hurt by someone deeply close to us. I personally have had a difficult time trusting a few family members because of how many times I have been lied to and hurt by them. Since I have been habitually lied to, it can be hard to trust them. While we should not blindly trust people, we do need to extend grace. If we see tangible results of the person’s repentance, such as doing the right thing and choosing not to lie, then we can consider trusting them again.
Trust is a hard thing to earn once you have lost it. It can be nearly impossible to earn trust back if you have broken it. In the event of a friend betraying you, it can feel as though you never want to see or talk to that person again. Our reasoning concludes if the person lied once, they will lie again. While this may be true, we cannot allow someone else’s actions to cause us never to trust anybody else ever again. Once we get hurt by lies, heartbreaks, and betrayals, we can develop trust issues, and it can feel nearly impossible to ever trust anyone again.
God wants us to extend grace, but He also wants us to be wise. If we know a person hasn’t changed their ways and will hurt us again, He doesn’t want us to simply trust them again just to get burned. Instead, God wants us to practice wisdom and look at the actions of the other person. If they are making the intentional decision to change, and you can see it in their actions, then you can trust them again. While I’m not telling you to simply trust anyone because you need to be wise in who you trust, we do need to extend trust if trust is deserved. In your own life, you can make this decision by looking at the person’s actions and seeing if they are truly taking the proper steps of repentance.
A second reason to trust again is to start new relationships. Maybe a friend, a partner, or a spouse significantly broke trust with you. Your friend lied to you or said mean things behind your back. A partner may have forgotten about your birthday or forgot to pick you up for a date. Or maybe your spouse cheated on you and you are now in the workings of divorce. Each of these circumstances can dramatically hurt us and cause us pain. In addition to causing us pain, they can cause us to not trust these individuals again. It can even cause us to have a hard time trusting anyone again.
At these times, it is important to remember that not everyone is like that friend, partner, or spouse who lied to you, hurt you, or betrayed you. It is worthwhile to open up your heart and your trust to others if they have demonstrated the actions of being someone who is trustworthy. Even if you may never see that friend, partner, or spouse being trustworthy again, you can still find trustworthy people out in the world who deserve your trust. Many times, we wish we could trust these individuals who were once close to us, but we haven’t been given any tangible proof that they are worthy of our trust.
If the person has taken the right steps to become worthy of our trust again, we should be open to trusting them again. However, if you have been sexually, physically, or emotionally abused, you are not obligated to trust them again. Even though the individual may apologize or act convincingly, it is best not to rekindle relationships with those who sexually, physically, or emotionally abused us. Never are we called to trust those who have hurt us in this way. While we are to forgive, it doesn’t mean what they did was okay. Rather, forgiving them means we give it all over to Christ.
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A third reason to trust again is to have the opportunity to love again. Maybe your partner or spouse lied to you, betrayed you, or broke your heart. It is hard to once again trust somebody when they have hurt us in this way. It can be even more damaging when the person is a partner or a spouse. A spouse is supposed to be someone we can fully confide in and fully trust all the days of our life. Once a lie, betrayal, or heartbreak happens, it can feel as though your entire life is falling apart. The person who was the closest to you and the person you thought you could trust with anything has now become the person you can no longer look at without pain.
If you have been lied to, betrayed, or have had your heart broken by a spouse, it can be extremely damaging. If this has happened to you, my heart goes out to you. God is with you, and your family of believers is there to support, encourage, and love you. While it might feel unthinkable at the time, it is possible to trust again and once again have that close relationship with another person. Spouses lie, betray, and are unfaithful for a myriad of reasons, and we cannot let their actions dictate our hearts and minds. We can once again find trust and support in another person if we ask for God’s help and take tangible steps on our part to help in the cause.
Even though you have had somebody close to you break your trust, it doesn’t mean someone else will do the same. However, if you don’t feel as though you can trust somebody again, know that you can trust God. God is completely worthy of our trust, and He will never do anything to break your trust. The love God has for you far outweighs any love a human being could provide, and He loves you without limit. You can trust Him because He is fully trustworthy and He loves you more than words can say.
A fourth reason to trust again is to not be alone. If we choose to never trust again, we will end up being lonely. God doesn’t want us to be lonely as He didn’t create us to be alone. He gave Adam Eve as a companion. He gave husbands wives as a beautiful picture of Christ and the Church. Even in the Gospels, we see Jesus send out His disciples two-by-two to spread the news of salvation. The Lord wants us to be around others and build friendships and a relationship with others he created. If we never trust anyone again, we will only find ourselves alone. Trusting someone can be a huge risk, yet sometimes we have to take this risk and see what comes of it. Simply because someone else has proven themselves untrustworthy doesn’t mean all people are untrustworthy. Though it may feel this way at the time, thankfully, it’s not true.
There are numerous people in the world who will be trustworthy. These are the people who are choosing to follow God and do their best to refrain from hurting others. Maybe somebody has been untrustworthy in your life and you are afraid to trust again. Know that this is normal, but you have to be willing to open your heart to trust again. Look at their actions, spend time with them, and let this be your deciding factor. Ask the Lord to help you open your heart to trust again, and He will help you find trust and security in the right people.
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