The great irony of loneliness is that so many of us feel alone! And although some of us require solitude to recharge, it’s important that we not linger in isolation. I wonder, how many lonely women among us have unintentionally isolated themselves from the community God has put around them? As you read that, did the Holy Spirit stir in you a conviction that you might be intentionally pulling away from community?
“Social isolation can be desired or sought out by an individual,” Mariana Plata of “The Gen Y Psy” contributed for Psychology Today, “but loneliness is normally not a choice.” Togetherness can be a healing balm for loneliness, and lending a helping hand has been proven to lift our own spirits.
If you are struggling with loneliness, I hope these beautiful reminders from God about who you are in him will help you look up and see opportunities to put yourself out there and take hold of the precious community he desires for you.
(This article is not meant to take the place of a counselor. If ever feelings of loneliness, despair, or taking one’s life seem to consume thoughts and debilitate normal everyday life, seek professional counseling. They are perfectly placed to help us cope and heal from the depression and anxiety running rampant in our modern world.)
Here are 10 beautiful truths God has for the lonely woman:
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1. You Are Wonderful
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” - Psalm 139:14
We are wonderful! The exact translation from the original Hebrew derivative expands upon the English definition of “excellent, great, or marvelous,” with “distinct, marked out, separated, distinguished.” Each human life means a great deal to God! Scripture reveals the Creator made us in His image!
Often when we are tempted to pull back from community, it’s because we are overwhelmed. It’s OK to learn about the personality God “knit” into the fabric of our being, and take time to recharge. We shouldn’t feel guilt or shame about taking steps to maintain mental health. However, if pulling back because of unworthiness or self-doubt, remember these powerful truths. The God who brought the sun back up in splendor this morning woke us, too! He loves us right now, where we’re at …whether we’re a mess or have it all together. God’s love is not fragile or fleeting. He is trustworthy and compassionate, always.
2. You Are Chosen
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” - 1 Peter 2:9
Chosen, royal, holy, and God’s special possession! Each life is proposed to proclaim the glory of God. We are called to love Him and share that love with the people around us and beyond. When Jesus preached the Sermon on the Mount, He told all of us to “Go!” Pull back from community only long enough to reenergize. Spend time with God in quiet moments and breaks from the everyday grind of reality. One of the positive things about taking some downtime with God is our increased ability to discern His directives on our live. Carve out time to get real with Him in prayer, and dig into Scripture by which He communicates with all believers through the Holy Spirit.
3. You Are Redeemed
“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the LORD, who has compassion on you.” - Isaiah 54:10
God will never take back His promise to redeem and restore us. For the ancient people in the Old Testament reading Isaiah’s words, a promise of the Messiah gave them hope. For believers today, Jesus is our hope in the dark. Whether we are in a room full of friends and family or a quiet space by ourselves, loneliness can overwhelm and overtake us. It’s part of the human story, wondering if we are worthy, worth it, or welcome.
“My unfailing love for you will not be shaken,” God assures us, “nor my covenant of peace be removed.” God did not call us to perfection, or to performance in order to earn His love and salvation. His plan was always to give it to us, no strings attached. God will NEVER refuse to forgive us or love us any less. We are forever redeemed through Jesus Christ.
4. You Are Understood
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” - Hebrews 4:15-16
We serve a God who understands us intimately. Not only did He knit us together in the womb, but our Savior walked this earth in order to share our burden. Sin creates an ugly mess in this world, yet Jesus choose to leave His Father’s side and suffer alongside humanity. He felt betrayal, loneliness, injustice, suffering, and sadness. He weeps in compassion with us.
When He pulls us through painful seasons, it’s important to reengage in community to help others going through what we have gone through. This is one of the most important aspects of community Jesus modeled. He came to serve, not to be served. So, though for a time we may need to pull back to recover and recharge, eventually God will place someone in our care to share the love we have experienced.
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5. You Are Never Alone
“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” - Hebrews 13:5
God’s promises are good! He is trustworthy. Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, is a constant presence in the life of every believer. This fuels us forward with hope in hard moments and challenging times. “Isolation is defined as a state or situation characterized by being physically separated from other people- whether intentional or not,” writes Mariana Plata. Loneliness, on the other hand, is defined by an internal feeling- it's about quality, not quantity.” Portioning off time with God daily adds an unmistakable quality and camaraderie to our lives. He is our source of encouragement to live in community with others, and it’s evident as we walk out into the world. We are the light of the world, because He is ours, and we faithfully follow Him. The world needs Light.
6. You Are Perfectly, and Purposefully, Placed in Your Community
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another- and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” - Hebrews 10:24-25
Going to church was never a requirement of salvation, nor are any of the other religious notions humanity has added to Christianity over the years. It doesn’t mean we can’t and shouldn’t enjoy denominational traditions. We must simply be wise to recognize them for what they are. The true church, God’s family, functions best when the doors open to release us out into the community to be the hands and feet loving others for Jesus!
Church can fill us up when we’re on empty, because Scripture ensures where two are more are gathered in His name, God is with them. And it’s palpable! However, there are many other amazing ways to connect with community. Mariana Plata writes, “Volunteering and engaging in selfless activities has been shown to have positive effects on mental health.” So while we all need to seek refuge from time to time, it’s important to get back out there and experience the joy God has built into our purpose to serve and bless others in His name.
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7. You Are Heard
“And if we know that he hears us- whatever we ask- we know that we have what we asked of him.”
God hears us. Think about the logistics of that for just a moment. How many people are speaking, praying to, and thinking about God right now? And He hears all of us, all of the time. The educated words for these layers of God’s character are omnipresent and sovereign. He not only hears us, He answers us. He is the God of miracles! Some we will see in miraculous healings and blessings, but others we may only uncover at heaven’s doorstep.
8. Your Life Has Unique Purpose
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
Every life has a value that cannot be properly weighed, determined, and placed by human standards or ideals. We have a limited ability to understand God’s purposes. Unique to every person, our lives connect like falling dominoes throughout life. We bump into each other and effect each other, for good! God promises to bring good out of all things, even unfortunate, unfair, and unbelievably terrible wrongs will be righted. Our unique purpose is a part of His plan. Not because He needs us to pull it off, but because by involving us in His grand plan we are blessed for it. We have the privilege and honor of working in tandem with our great God, by trusting Him with our days here on earth.
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9. You Are Loved
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
The Gospel doesn’t sit idle, and neither should we …not for longer than we need to stop and refuel! Jesus is the greatest expression of love there has ever been and will ever be. Everything He is and all He accomplished by His sacrificial death was out of love and compassion for us. It’s His sacrificial love that drives us to engage with our community and pass on the source of our hope and love …Jesus Christ. God chose community as His method of sending the Gospel message to every corner of the earth. It is in communicating with each other we reach those who do not have hope or know love. We are undoubtably loved, enough to spur us on to accomplished all He has set out to through us, and those we connect with.
10. You Are Not Supposed to Do Life Alone
“The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18
Everything God does has a good purpose for our lives because He is good. He is a relational God and desires to have a personal relationship with us. We are literally wired for a relationship with Him and the people He places around us. Psychology Today reports, “a higher level of social isolation usually produces higher levels of loneliness; high levels of loneliness make people prone to socially isolate themselves.”
Jesus died to open up the lines of communication between us and our holy Heavenly Father. But not just to speak one-way. We experience the depth of His love for us not just in quiet moments with Him, or in admiration of the beauty of His creation in nature …but through the other people He has allowed us to be in community with.
What Can You Do When You're Tempted to Pull Away from Community?
Social media is an amazing platform to share the gospel, and to connect and keep in touch with others. But it’s also a breeding ground for pride, comparison, and outright lies. Psychology Today reports, “young adults in the US who use social media more frequently than their peers report higher levels of perceived social isolation.” To keep a healthy mentality, the tangible relationships we have with the people in our everyday lives should outweigh our digital connections.
Though it’s important to unplug and recharge in a world thriving on busy schedules and full calendars, our presence is important! Prayerfully ask God for guidance and balance when the urge to pull back from community arises.
Meg Bucher writes about everyday life within the love of Christ. An author, freelance writer and blogger at Sunny&80, she earned a Marketing/PR degree from Ashland University. Her first book, “Friends with Everyone,” is available on amazon.com. Meg leads/teaches Bible Study in Women’s and Youth Ministry. Living in Northern Ohio, she’s been wife to Jim for a decade and counting, is mom to two tween daughters, a distance runner, photographer, and avid Cleveland Browns fan.
Originally published Sunday, 10 May 2020.
