“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” - Ephesians 4:2-3 NIV
The Bible is full of beautiful verses about love, appropriate for happy couples to mark the start of their marriages. But without a proper understanding of verses like Ephesians 4:2-3, we cannot expect to live out God’s greatest command to love him and love one another, especially in the everyday lives of our marriages.
God’s design for marriage is to join two people in order to serve God together better than they could alone. Perhaps much of the hurt we experience in marriage is due to our lack of understanding about this. When we neglect to keep God’s purpose for marriage a priority, we are prone to get lost in unrealistic visions of happily-ever-afters as love winds on over the years.
There are many reasons for hurting marriages, and these prayers should not take the place of a professional marriage counselor. May they guide and re-center us to hear God’s voice and understand better his definition of love and purpose for marriage, leading us to the proper channels to heal our deep marriage hurts.
1. A Prayer for a Clearer Understanding of Love
Father,
We humbly come before you to ask about love. How do we bear with one another in love? When we can barely stand the sight of each other, and our patience is dwindling, how can we practice humility, gentleness, and unity? Teach us the truths of Ephesians 4:2-3. Breath a fresh take on this truth into our marriage, and help us to embrace it in hard and frustrating moments.
Father, we don’t want superficial marriages that pretend to have these godly elements. We want to live them out daily, whether it looks messy and unglued or pretty and put together. Thank you for bringing us together in marriage to learn more about love and serve you together. Show us what it means to be patient, humble, and gentle with each other. Help us to focus on the good in each other, and the good we can do together. Remind us of the all-surpassing peace we possess as followers of Christ, and that what you have joined together no-one is powerful enough to break a part. Bless and strengthen our knowledge and love of you and appreciation for each other.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
2. A Prayer for the Blessing of Mutual Humility.
Father,
You alone are mighty to save. Our marriage is hurting, because we lack humility. Instead of seeking peace together, our feet are firmly planted on opposite sides of important issues. Help us to humble ourselves, considering our spouses’ point of view. Inspire in us a desire to see from their perspective, in order to have compassion on them. Let your truth reign champion in all of our disagreements. Stop us before we say hurtful words that cannot be taken back, and move us towards mutual understanding and peace. Father, so many of our arguments spring from a lack of humility, help us to better understand what it means to be humble.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
3. A Prayer to Serve Our Spouses
Father,
You call us to serve each other and serve you together in marriage. Forgive us, for all of the times we have made marriage about ourselves and our happiness. Marriage is purposed for so much more than just happy endings and picture-perfect lives. Motivate in us a spirit to serve each other with godly humility, especially when we don’t feel like it. You have joined us to make a difference in this world in your honor. Re-focus us, Father. Help us to serve each other better, and to serve you, together, better.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
4. A Prayer for the Promise of Patience
Father,
You are perfectly patient with us, beyond our understanding. Though we wake up each day with good intentions to follow you wholly and perfectly, the reality of our days is filled with repetitive sin. Even so, you made a way for us to be forgiven, and have never loved us less because of our shortcomings. Father, help us to learn to be patient with our spouses. Let our marriages be full of patience, instead of pride. Help us to see each other through Your eyes: imperfect, but fully loved.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
5. A Prayer to Guard Against Pride
Father,
You see every person as you created them, fearfully and wonderfully made. We often see each other, and ourselves, from a different perspective. Help us to see past our imperfections, and our spouses’. We all fall short, but you never love us any less. No one is undeserving of your love, Father. But our pride temps us to rate and compare ourselves, and our spouse, to others. When we do this, we risk missing the blessings in our lives because. Focus our hearts, and keep our pride at bay, Lord. Make us aware of it when it threatens to steal our peace, and stir up trouble in our marriages.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
6. A Prayer for the Restoration of Joy
Father,
After the wedding bells have faded into the distance and the hard reality of everyday life sets in, we can lose sight of the joy Jesus died to give us. When we let the annoying parts of our spouse steal the spotlight, be quick to remind us of joy. Joy isn’t a fleeting feeling, but a stable element of our faith. When we are tempted to wallow in the temporary hurts and arguments of married life, bring us back to joy. Not a happiness Band-Aid, but a solid assurance all we do is bigger than life this side of heaven.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
7. A Prayer for the Healing of Wounds
Father,
You are our Healer. It’s never your plan for a marriage to fail, and so we pray your Healing over our marriage, today. We believe you are capable of miracles, including reconciling us as husband and wife. Though we may fall apart, you are bigger than anyone or anything threatening to tear us a part. We pray for eyes focused on you, and for the Truth of your Word to echo loudest in our hearts. Give us the courage required to reach out for help and provide the strong voices of your truth to speak into our lives and our marriage. Heal our marriage, Father, to bring honor and glory to you.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
8. A Prayer for A Common Mission
Father,
Marriage by your design brings honor and glory to you. On our own, we can accomplish a lot, but when we submit to the strength of the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ, we become recipients of more than we could ever ask for imagine. Bless our marriage with this strength. Not everyone is called into marriage. It isn’t a necessity to serve you and bring glory to you. So we know, since you have brought us together in marriage, you have a special plan and purpose for us to work together as team on a mission for your Kingdom. Will you point us in the right direction? Give us a specific sign? And lead us toward your will for our lives as husband and wife?
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
9. A Prayer for Practicing Gratitude
Father,
It’s so easy to stack up the grievances we have against each other, especially when our marriage is not in a good place. Help us to flip our perspective and apply the soothing ointment of gratitude to our hearts and to our marriage. We pray to see and focus on all of the good in our marriage and in our lives. We ask for forgiveness for leaning into the negative and hard, instead of putting forth the effort it takes to be grateful. Thank you for life. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for bringing us together. Thank you for Jesus, and the life free from the imprisonment of sin we enjoy because of His sacrifice.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
10. A Prayer for Forgiveness
Father,
You always forgive us, and never love us less. No matter how many times we trip over the same crack in our lives, you embrace us and tell us it’s going to be OK. A Good Father, your forgiveness illustrated in the death of your only Son Jesus on the cross, You have made a way for us to live in your love. Help us to extend the same, undeserved forgiveness, in our marriage. If there is any un-forgiveness in our hearts towards our spouse or ourselves, help us to bring it to You. Heal us of it and help us to be more forgiving towards each other.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
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