Rejection is a crouching lion stalking its prey, waiting to sink its jaws into the unsuspecting. It’s an attack that leaves us maimed and wounded. We walk through life desperate for approval, yet afraid to be vulnerable. We demand acceptance, and then refuse to extend it. Rejection becomes a default response we turn to over and over again.
There’s actual rejection and perceived rejection. We think we’ve been rejected so we reject others. Others reject us, so we reject ourselves. Rejection causes anger, angst, and a tendency to believe the worst about people. Some of us claim the identity of rejected, causing rejection to become our default reaction and response to others.
We cannot prevent rejection from happening, but we can refuse to let it cripple us. When we present our rejection to God, and allow Him to sift through the emotions and pain of it, it’s possible to find good in it. Redeeming rejection is one way God grows us and makes beauty from ashes.
These 10 reasons show how God can redeem your rejection.
1. We learn our worth lies in God's opinion.
When we look for our worth by chasing other people’s approval, we grow addicted to rating ourselves based on what others think about us. This guessing game twists us into knots until we’re a tangled mess. Our worth lies in God’s opinion of us, and He calls us chosen and beloved. But it’s difficult to remember this when God seems far off, and we’re surrounded by people who seem to have everything we lack. As we turn to God for approval, we develop immunity to the need for man’s approval. Rejection stings, but it doesn’t determine your worth. (Colossians 3:12)
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2. We learn how to handle emotions.
Wishing rejection away doesn’t make it any less noticeable. Rejection happens. So often we feel hurt, pain, and somehow we believe those feelings shouldn’t be acknowledged. Feelings are a gift from God to help us experience all that life has to offer. When we deny our tears and pain, we also deny ourselves the fullness of joy, love, and laughter. Rejection gives us an opportunity to feel our feelings, and then feed them with God’s word. We’re comforted as we remember and remind our hearts what God says about us and to us. (Psalm 62:8)
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3. We develop compassion for others.
Rejection is one of those constants in life. The natural response to rejection is to harden our hearts and tighten our armor. But rejection can teach us compassion if we let it. We’re not all going to get along or like one another. Personalities clash. Worldviews collide. Rarely will you find a place where everyone feels accepted and approved; we will all remind each other of our weaknesses, and in those moments we have a choice. We can extend the gift of compassion to them or turn away from them. When we experience rejection, we remember what it’s like to feel unwanted and, in turn, it reminds us to treat others with compassion. (Romans 12:10)
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4. We redirect our ambition.
Tucked away in our hearts lie the desires for self-promotion, applause, and celebration. We’re prone to selfishness. There is a piece in our hearts that wants recognition for our amazing idea or selfless act. With each rejection we face, another piece of selfish ambition gets sloughed away until we care more about God’s promotion than ours. Rejection teaches us to decrease so that He might increase, and our selfish ambition is replaced with godly ambition. Ambition that promotes God’s glory through whomever and whatever means He chooses, is an ambition that rejection refines. (James 3:16)
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5. We grow a deeper understanding of God's love.
Rejection can grow our understanding of love. Do you know how much you’re loved? Really, truly loved? Do you understand it only intellectually? Has your heart been seared too many times that love can’t penetrate the char? Our experiences with human love skew our perception of God’s love. Every time you turn to God’s fulfilling love in the face of your rejection, God begins the work of redeeming the rejection in your heart. If you can separate your fear of rejection from actual rejection, you begin the journey to receiving God’s deep abiding love in the recesses of your heart. (Romans 8:38-39)
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6. We identify more with Christ.
Jesus suffered rejection from His followers, disciples, peers, and His enemies. Rejection weaved in and out of his life, but He didn’t let it define His ministry on earth. Jesus stayed focused on His Father’s business. He healed, loved, and set people free all while experiencing rejection. Serving Christ is not always going to bring us accolades. It might bring us obscurity, pain, and rejection, but we can still live purposed and know that God will use this rejection to refine us while we serve Him. Suffering rejection causes us to be made more like Christ. (2 Corinthians 1:5)
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7. We practice fighting battles with praise.
When we turn to God in praise rather than wallowing in our rejection, we take our ground back from the enemy. Rejection is personal. It’s an attack on the person that God has made us to be. We are conduits for His reflection to a lost and dying world, so when rejection steals our individual expression of God within us, we hurt. Praise is a useful weapon when we’re attacked, because it turns our hearts to the warrior who fights for us. We stand and praise His name and watch Him fight on our behalf. Rejection is used by the enemy of our soul, but we can counter attack by praising God. (Psalm 8:1-2)
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8. We retrain our focus on God.
The fear of man is a trap. It ensnares and amputates, and always catches us by surprise because traps are hidden. Rejection highlights the evidence that that fear still lingers in our hearts. When rejection pierces our heart we get an opportunity to pull more roots from that fear-of-man weed. Crab-grass roots run just below the surface of the ground, and I’ve pulled several feet of root out in my flower bed by following it to the other side of the bed. Rejection pops up in our lives, and then as we deal with it, we follow the root to insecurity or identity issues, which are often rooted in fear of man. Rejection can retrain us to focus on God’s constant approval instead of man’s changing one. (Proverbs 29:25)
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9. We choose a thankful heart over a discontent one.
Discontent with our individual gifts creates the inability to be thankful for someone else who has a similar gift. Maybe their gifts outshine ours, or we’re overlooked for a promotion, or another speaker is chosen for the women’s event. Rather than growing discontent, thank God for the abilities we do have. Thank Him that he has given us good gifts and abilities, that we get another day to use them, and trust Him with the timing of being chosen. Sometimes our discontent with who we are and what we have can blind us to the opportunities that God is giving us right now. Rejection can refine a discontented heart into a thankful heart. (James 1:17)
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10. We experience God's grace through the Gospel.
Rejection is as old as time. The Bible is full of accounts of rejection, but the most epic one of all started us on the journey to redeeming rejection. Genesis 3 tells us the story of when the people God loved and created to be in a relationship with rejected Him. And yet, in His pain of rejection He made a plan for redemption. Without that first rejection the plan for the rest of humanity to experience God’s amazing grace would not be needed. Our personal stories of rejection give us an opportunity to share the gospel message when we extend grace and forgiveness with those who wound us. (Genesis 3:15)
God is able to redeem rejection in your life. He understands the pain you feel, and He offers a way to use it to refine you rather than allowing it to define you. Rejection doesn’t have to be something you run to or create, but when placed in the hands of a gracious God, it can become a gift of priceless pearls. Rejection can be a catalyst for change in your life. Good change. The kind of change that God brings about so that you can be part of His purpose for making Him known to the world.
Jessica Van Roekel is a woman on the journey to wholeness through brokenness. She believes that through Christ your personal histories don’t have to define your present or determine your future. Her greatest desire is to see you live this “God-life” with all the power and grace that God provides. Jessica lives in a rural community with her husband and four children. She leads worship on Sundays, but seeks to be a worshiper every day. You can connect with her at www.welcomegrace.com and on Facebook: www.facebook.com/
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Originally published Wednesday, 21 February 2018.
