“Lord, show me how to be the wife I need to be,” I asked each moment frustration visited during my restless nights.
Hubby had been diagnosed with diabetes. After the shock, I went to action. With the diligence of a loving, caring wife, I developed the perfect diet. I made sure I sent him links to videos that showed the best way to beat diabetes.
And to my chagrin, during my frantic dash to remedy the problem, hubby seemed relaxed, undisturbed in the least about his diagnosis.
So I did what every wise wife would do, I began to pray and to secure God’s assistance in this make-hubby-healthy again endeavor.
But God was silent. He wasn’t doing His part to transform my husband. To change his thinking and correct his eating habits. Or prompt him to exercise and at the very least, take his condition seriously.
The more I prayed, the more junk food hubby ate.
Sigh! I want him healthy, Lord. With visions of diabetic complications such as blindness, amputations, kidney failure, I prayed and prayed, yet his blood sugar levels remained high.
Then God put me on a diet of His truth, feeding my thinking with much-needed food for my own soul...
I was dwelling in the house of worry, I was abiding in the home of frustration and words of fear resided with me.
John 15:7 “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
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I prayed, but was clueless about the prerequisite of forgiveness…or my need to forgive others. Gulp.
Mark 11:25: “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
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Focusing on the situation often distracted me from concentrating and meditating on God’s law, on His promises and instructions.
Proverbs 28:9 “If one turns away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer is an abomination."
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Why do we allow bad news or painful details to drown out what Jesus says?
John 14:12-14 “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.”
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It was easy to pray and pray. But believing, truly believing it was done became a struggle.
Mark 11:24 “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
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Reflecting on my past, the mistakes made, the selfish ways, the incorrect thinking and all the dark places my heart trudged through needed to be exposed before the Lord.
Psalm 66:18 “If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.”
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In silent moments, reassurance that God heard me erased anxious thoughts.
1 John 5:14 “And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.”
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Wisdom to know what to ask for adds anxiety. But God addresses that too.
James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts are like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.”
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In desperate times, the heart is broken, confusion reigns leaving us without words.
Romans 8:26 “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”
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I had my well-established No. 1 priority and what I was seeking first was to have my husband healed…
Matthew 6:33 ”But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
And God did add what was missing—a new awareness of my need to seek Him first. And in the process of seeking Him first, even above looking for hubby’s healing, came understanding
I understood I needed to increase my faith, to declare victory in Jesus name, and to rebuke anxious thoughts, worry and fear. And most importantly, to praise Him with all my strength no matter what the circumstances showed.
Hubby walked in the house one night with a huge bag of fresh organic carrots, celery, cucumbers and fresh ginger. He began a new eating routine and added hour-long daily walks. Months later, his meds decreased and blood sugar reached normal levels. His new health-driven determination made me pray again. This time, I prayed gratitude…gratitude for God’s answer that came through the change He had first created in me.
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Janet Perez Eckles is an international speaker and author of four books. Her best-selling release, Simply Salsa: Dancing Without Fear at God’s Fiesta invites you to experience the simplicity of finding joy even in the midst of hardship, With engaging stories, Simply Salsa gives practical steps to overcome heartache and celebrate life once again.
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