I had no idea that would be the last night. One evening, my 19-year-old son, Joe headed to the front door. “I’ll be back guys,” he said to me and to my husband.
But that wouldn’t be so. Late that night we received a phone call telling us he had been wounded.
Wounded? My heart beat fast. That couldn’t be true. Joe was a leader, captain of his football team, an all-star player of his La Crosse team. He attended his Bible study regularly. His smile was inviting, his sense of humor, contagious.
My mind wondered in a million directions for a clue. In silence, my husband and I waited in the emergency room. We were ready to care for him once we brought him home.
Instead, the doctor walked in. “Are you the parents of Joe Eckles?”
I jumped to my feet, “Yes, where is he, how is he? When can we take him home?”
And that’s when the doctor told us that Joe had not survived the 23 stab wounds he had received.
I couldn’t breathe. I asked God why. I repeated that question over and over again, hoping that if I heard God’s reasoning, I could accept the loss.
But God didn’t answer. Instead, He gave desperately needed comfort each passing day. And with every aching cry, He soothed me, one verse at a time.
1. Psalm 9:9-10
When feeling alone in my heartache, lost in my pain and crushed by the loss, God whispered His promise.
“The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:9-10
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2. Psalm 9:12b and 34:17-18
As tears flowed, I wondered, does God really hear my pain?
“He does not ignore the cry of the afflicted….
“The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 9:12b and 34:17-18
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3. Psalm 23:2
When anxiety and restlessness filled my long nights, God whispered into my heartache.
“He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.” Psalm 23:2
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4. Psalm 18:30
Although family and friends surrounded me, they couldn’t shield me. I was vulnerable to negative, destructive emotions, and only God can shield from those.
“The word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.” Psalm 18:30
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5. Psalm 62:1-2
My world shook each time I sensed my son’s absence. And only God’s Word could quiet my anguish.
“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” Psalm 62:1-2
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6. 2 Chronicles 20:15
At times, grief exhausted me. And when I was too weak to fight the battle on my own, God’s voice lifted me.
"...listen, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says: 'Do not be afraid! Don't be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God's." 2 Chronicles 20:15
7. Matthew 11:28-30
Support groups helped, books on grieving were useful. But I longed to be held in God’s arms.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
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8. Psalm 63:6-8
Weeks passed by and nights weren’t dark anymore as I filled my thoughts with His reassurance.
“I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” - Psalm 63:6-8
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9. Lamentations 3:22-23
The trust for each moment turned to the hope for each day as I counted on God’s constant compassion.
“Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning…” Lamentations 3:22-23
10. Romans 8:18
Paul’s words emphasized reassurance, brought fresh expectation and shined a new kind of joy.
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18
Seeing my suffering through God’s eyes, I embrace gratitude. I’m thankful for the 19 years Joe brought gladness to my life with his hugs and sense of humor. They turned to warm memories that soothe my heart. But the deepest gratitude is for the guarantee I’ll see him again. Two years before God called him home, Joe had invited Christ Jesus as his Savior, gaining eternal life. And as he’s now in heaven’s splendor, peace fills my nights.
And during the day, God’s Word resonates. I don’t have to carry the pain on my own. I don’t have to face the darkness alone. He has given me the promise to ease my sorrow, to fill the void and to turn my mourning into new-found joy.
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Janet Perez Eckles is an international speaker and author of four books. Her best-selling release, “Simply Salsa: Dancing Without Fear at God’s Fiesta” invites you to experience the simplicity of finding joy even in the midst of hardship, With engaging stories, Simply salsa gives practical steps to overcome heartache and celebrate life once again.
http://www.janetperezeckles.com/store/simply-salsa
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Originally published Wednesday, 29 March 2017.