10 Ways to Focus on What Really Matters this Christmas

Ashley Hales

With the rush of December comes a to-do list a mile long. You want to make cookies, take your kids to all the local holiday events, practice gratitude and generosity, make and purchase gifts, and go to church. You want to make Jesus the center of the holiday, yet all the other stuff can fill up your plate without you even thinking.

If you’re already feeling the pinch of all that seems to need doing, here are a few small ways to focus on what really matters this Christmas: 

1. Start off each day right.

Start each day by orienting your heart so that you can orient your calendar, your priorities, how you react to others and how you spend your money. Read from an Advent devotional (Some of my favorites are by: Ann Voskamp’s The Greatest Gift, Jody Collins’ Living the Season Well, Kris Camealy’s Come, Lord Jesus, and Russ Ramsey’s Behold the Lamb of God). Read a passage of scripture, journal if you want to, and pray. These small practices allow you to prioritize what Christmas is all about: the God of the universe being made man!

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2. Orient your weeks’ schedule.

Once a week sit down with your schedule and decide how much time you have for all the Christmas activities you want to accomplish. Whether it’s sending cards, baking cookies, serving in a local shelter, or donating your time and resources, plan it out. 

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3. Make yourself a “no” list.

When we’re bombarded with all the cute holiday things everyone else is doing on social media, it can feel like we have to do it too. Decide what you’ll say “no” to. I have a friend who’s told everyone she’s not baking or doing cards this year in an effort to slow down and savor the season. Make sure you’re saying no so you can say the right yeses. 

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4. Consider your budget and how you can practice generosity.

As you prepare for Christmas gifts and parties, consider how much of your Christmas budget is actually going to loving other people — not just your immediate family. If the incarnation of God shows us that God humbled himself and became man, then shouldn’t our own gift-giving look more like humility than swaggering? Determine an amount to give away this year and have that be a present you give to others as a family.

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5. Create practices of remembering

What family and community practices can you continue this season that help you remember? Maybe your grandpa took you to a Christmas tree farm, or you always watched a particular Christmas movie with your aunts and uncles. These are the family and communal moments which create the texture of the season as we repeat them year after year. Consider who you might want to invite in to your family traditions.

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6. Do what brings joy.

Rather than doing all that you think is necessary, or even your kids think is necessary, decide on practices for the season that will increase your wonder and bring joy to your family, friends, and community. If baking brings you joy, do a lot of it! Make cookies to give away. Get people together who need a friend and bake together. If something doesn’t bring joy and feels like too much of a burden, feel free to toss it out. 

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7. Pick a word for the season

Choose a word to focus on this season to help orient your heart moment-by-moment. A good friend of mine chose “wonder” for her Advent and Christmas season and I’m keen to pass along a great book I know to help her more deeply consider it. I’ve chosen “joy” or “kind” in years’ past — it helps me remember to focus on being kind (for example) rather than getting all the things done. 

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8. Root yourself in the traditions of the church, not your shopping list or activity calendar.

When you sit down with your calendar, make sure you’re prioritizing the places and activities that will help you remember Jesus. Plan to go to services, concerts, or other events that will help you refocus on the wonder of the incarnation. Christmastime is the easiest time of year to invite someone to church, too since most people love singing Christmas carols. 

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9. Offer up an impossible prayer request

Our church does a yearly Christmas offering and we always add an “impossible prayer request” as part of it. It allows everyone to participate in offering something to God. It also keeps us as a congregation praying for one another and trusting that God will do something big in the lives of his people, even still. What one thing might you be afraid to give to God as a gift, but is a an area where you need God to show up?

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10. Go to church

It’s perhaps the most obvious but prioritizing church attendance through Advent and Christmas will keep your eyes on Christ at Christmas. It also helps root you in the life of your community as you gather with neighbors and friends and practice remembering and rehearsing the grand story of the gospel together. As you pray together, confess together, sing together, give generously, and hear about Jesus coming to earth as a baby all the busyness of the holiday will take their rightful place — as fun accouterments to the season, but never the main dish.

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Ashley Hales is a writer, speaker, church planter’s wife, and mom to 4 littles in southern California. Ashley has written for places such as The Gospel CoalitionBooks & Culture, and ThinkChristian and is writing her first book, Finding Holy in the Suburbs (IVP). Be sure to connect with her at her blogFacebook, or Twitter. Subscribe to get a free booklet on how to practice sustained attention and chase beauty right where you are. 

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