Have you ever noticed your spouse struggle with something and you couldn’t find the words to encourage them no matter how you tried? Sometimes the close connections we have in our marriages prevent us from being intentional about how we hold each other up. We take our spouses needs and desires for granted. Sometimes we think we won’t be taken seriously when we try to encourage them, or they’ll never take our advice until someone else tells them the same thing.
These should not stop us from fulfilling our responsibilities to each other; to uplift, encourage and inspire one another.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 says “Two people are better than one, for they can help each other succeed.” New Living Translation
This is such a beautiful picture of our roles as husbands and wives—helping each other succeed.
Here are 11 simple ways you can begin to do that for your spouse today.
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1. Pay Attention to Their Dreams and Aspirations
Do you know your spouse’s deepest desires? Besides wanting the best for your family and loving you above all else, do you know what other things are tugging at their heartstrings? You stand a better chance of helping them succeed when you know what they’re aiming for. Why not find out today?
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2. Follow Their Progress on The Things That Matter to Them
If they can’t stop talking about that project at work or the new idea they want to pursue, it’s time you paid attention. Ask them what they need, how far they’ve gone and how you can help. Showing them you’re interested in their world will inspire them to go for their best.
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3. Encourage Them with Words
Sometimes we take for granted how much impact our words can have on our loved ones. We let moments pass that could inspire and uplift them in ways we may not understand. The next time you look at your spouse and think what a brave, conscientious man he is, tell him. Let your wife know she’s a great mom and a thoroughbred professional. I’ll bet the next time she faces a challenging project; she’ll tackle it with as much enthusiasm as anyone can have because your words fueled her confidence.
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4. Support Them with Time and Space When It Matters
Sometimes giving our spouses the time and space they need is enough to show them how much we want them to succeed. We live in a complex world. There are demands on our time both at home and out there. Giving each other that opportunity to be what we have to be is an excellent way to inspire.
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5. Pray for Them
Prayer is our greatest weapon. Pray for your spouse whether they can hear you or not. They’ve been times when my husband walked out of the house in low spirits and came back bursting at the seams with joy. What happened? I covered him in prayer with an earnest heart and prayed for the Lord to intervene in his day. Prayer works.
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6. Pray with Them
Praying together draws spouses closer. It’s a three-cord strand that cannot be broken. It’s you, your spouse and a loving God who knows who you are and what you need. There’s no better way to strengthen your relationship.
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7. Don't Belittle/Gloss Over Their Pain
Your spouse’s problems may seem little or their fears unfounded but don’t be tempted to wave them off. This does not mean that you should call a pity party; find the balance. Acknowledge the issue on hand then pray for the right words to encourage them to let go of their fear and hand it over to the Lord. Iron sharpens iron.
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8. Be a Sounding Board
Be available. Can your spouse truth you with their ideas and insights no matter how simple they may be? Listen, examine and analyze their thoughts with them, not just for them. Sometimes all we need is someone to recognize the dream in us, especially when we can’t see it in ourselves.
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9. Help Them Keep Track of Their Goals in A Non-Threatening Manner
Does your spouse have goals or resolutions they are struggling to meet? Don’t be the nagging voice reminding them of what a bad job they’re doing. Find a gentle and loving way to inspire them to action and also keep them accountable.
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10. Celebrate All Successes, Major or Minor
Celebrate their wins even when they don’t think it’s a big deal. Small wins keep us energized and enthusiastic. Inspire your spouse to reach higher in everything they do.
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11. Be Real and Authentic. Practice What You Preach
Nothing causes discouragement and disillusionment than someone who encourages you to do something they’ll never try. If you’re inspiring your spouse to be better at work, at home, and in their faith, make sure you’re actively doing the same. Together you can reach for all God has prepared for you.
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Remi Roy lives, writes and enjoys being in Dallas, Texas. Originally from Nigeria, she is passionate about her purpose which is following God every step of the way no matter the details. She is a contented wife, communications consultant and writing coach. She is the author of two books Ms. Unlikely and From the Sidelines and editor of Purpose Anthologies, a collection of personal life journeys. When she’s not working with clients, she spends time working on her next book and trying hard to be a morning person. You can find her at remiroyonline.com. Or on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Originally published Tuesday, 16 May 2017.
