Growing up, I knew my parents were committed to each other, but the marriage they modeled wasn’t anything I wanted to experience in my life. So I thought I’d be a single missionary like Amy Carmichael and invest my life in the poor of the slums.
Except God had other plans. (I can still hear Him laughing His good-natured chuckle. Child, you think you know what’s best for you, but My plans are higher than your plans, and I have another thing coming!)
Long story short, my freshman year of college I fell in love with a boy I first met in sixth-grade camp, and I’ve been head-0ver-heels for him since. Sure, we’ve had our share of ups and downs, and five years in, I still feel like we’re new at this whole you-and-me-forever thing. But I wouldn’t trade him for the world, and I’m so SO glad God didn’t follow my plans. *smile*
Key to our happiness has been learning from other older couples what it means to love and serve one another in marriage. We’ve been blessed with several godly couples who spoke truth into our lives at key moments, but in between, books have mentored us into a healthier marriage.
When it comes to marriage books, there are a LOT I’ve read and a whole lot more on my reading list. Some books I’ve revisited several times, like seeking out a good friend for a cup of coffee, and some books still sit on my bookshelf, asking me to take them out and spend some time together.
The following are my top picks for Christian marriage books. These are gems you’ll want to revisit again and again, and your marriage will be the better for it. Let's get started!
My top pick, this book has given my husband Flaviu and I a vocabulary to express our need for love in specific ways. It’s also given us a non-confrontational way to address times when we’re feeling unloved, or when our “love bank” is running low. Hands-down, this is my top marriage book for anyone looking to immediately improve their marriage.
I started reading this book while we were engaged, and I’m still challenged each time I pick it up to devote more time to praying for my man. The goal here, I learned, isn’t to change him into what I want but to ask God to pour forth all He has for my husband’s life and to use me as a conduit for blessing.
I was shocked when I read this book as a newly-engaged woman and learned that the sexual temptations we struggle with before marriage follow us into marriage. If you want a peak into your man’s mind, this book will help you understand him, empathize with him, and better love and serve him.
About three years into our marriage, I felt like we had hit a rut, so I picked up this book after watching Fireproof, and it helped me change my perspective to look for ways to serve instead of waiting to be served. The daily challenges are easy but thought-provoking, and it’s the perfect way to infuse your marriage with a little extra oomph.
If you feel your love life has fizzled out, this Bible study may help you rediscover your passion for your husband. I’ve found this is best done with a group of trusted friends, but let me tell you: expect both tears and laughs. There’s healing in bringing our sexuality before God.
Sadly, too many marriages today feel like they’re beyond hope, but this book helps guide readers to see the beauty of the everyday mess. Darlene is honest, frank, and transparent, and you’ll find her writing refreshing.
You’ve probably heard this by now, but women most need to feel love while men need to feel respected. But if you’re wondering what exactly that looks like in the day-to-day grind, you’ll find direction and actionable steps in this book.
The idea that marriage is meant primarily to sanctify us has changed my entire view of marriage. God redeems the hard parts of our lives to make us more like Him, and that’s a beautiful way to approach those hardships we all experience in marriage.
Oh, C. S. Lewis. If you enjoy deep, rich, philosophical writings, this book by C. S. Lewis will be right up your alley. Writing from a scholar’s perspective, Lewis dives deep into ideas that will leave you marriage for the better.
Hollywood would have us believe that the best sex happens in unattached, spontaneous hookups, and for the longest time I believed them. But what this book has helped me discovered is that sex gets better with time and effort, and it’s a beautiful thing to see unfolding in your own marriage.
Every time I read a John Piper book, I feel like my brain is overloaded, but in a good way, because his writing helps me think of things differently and always unpacks weighty Bible texts. This book is not for the faint of heart, but if you wade through it, you will come out with a deeper understanding of how God intended marriage to reflect eternal realities.
This book’s cover alone made me laugh when I first saw it because just toothpaste and toilet paper is enough to spark controversy. Truth be told, I’ve spent too much time looking at my marriage from my own perspective; this book helps us see life through our spouse’s eyes. Refreshing and fun.
This husband-and-wife team share that the best way to have a healthy and happy marriage is by not focusing on marriage. Eye-opening, thought-provoking, and life-changing.
I love that this book combines Tim’s insightful understanding of Scripture with his wife’s realistic commentary. I’ve realized we all believe certain lies about marriage, and we can only grow as we confront them and replace them with God’s Truth.
This classic will help you understand your spouse’s top needs and how they’re different from your own. I’ve found that too often I expect my husband to behave the way I do and want the things I want, but we are fundamentally different, and that’s a good thing.
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