3 Reasons People Fail New Years Resolutions, and How to Overcome Them

Often, it is an emotional event that triggers the desire to change and do something different. Maybe you go to the doctor and your report is not what you wanted to hear, so you declare it is now time to get in shape. You may look back and see missed opportunities and vow to never miss them again. Or you hear of someone else’s story, and it inspires you (that’s an emotion) to do something on your own. 

While emotional choices can be a great place to begin your journey, they don’t sustain you for very long. Often, in the spur of the emotional moment, we make a declaration of something we are going to do that goes far beyond our ability to execute it. You might set a goal to lose weight and expect to lose 20 pounds in two weeks. When the emotion of this decision wears off and you don’t see the immediate result you want, then the motivation wanes and the resolution falls by the wayside.

Yes, emotions can play a role in every decision you make, however, you cannot allow your emotions to guide your expectations. That is where you usually get into trouble. 

Solution: Make emotional decisions with realistic expectations

Often the problem isn’t the goal, it is the expectation of how fast you can achieve that goal. Typically, you achieve goals with consistent effort over extended periods of time. The key parts of achieving them are consistency and time. When you set unrealistic timeframes, it can lead to discouragement and motivate you to want to give up. However, when you set realistic timeframes and you see progress towards that goal, it motivates you to keep going. 

As you move toward what you want to achieve, any steps you take in that direction are worth celebrating and help you keep going. I would never tell you to remove emotions from the process, because it is virtually impossible to do. I would tell you even if emotion drives the decision, let common sense and practicality drive the expectation. Let me give you some examples.

Before saying you are going to read through the Bible in a year, why not decide to read the Bible every day.

Instead of saying I will not eat dessert for the next 30 days, why not say I will limit my desserts to once per week.

When you put realistic outcomes on your decisions, then it increases your ability to stay on track to hit that goal. Those little steps of progress add up and will motivate you to keep pressing forward towards what you are trying to accomplish.  

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

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“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish’” (Luke 14:28-30).

So often we decide to do things without realizing what it will take to achieve what we want to accomplish. I am an okay musician and sometimes I hear brilliant musicians play and I say, man I would love to play like that. Then I hear they practice eight hours a day and I realize I may want to play at that level, but not at that cost. 

Anything you want to achieve has what I call a price of execution. It may cost you time, money, commitment, or sacrifice. Every goal has a price of execution required to achieve that goal. When you don’t realize this, then your desire to keep going towards your goal falls away quickly. Especially when it becomes harder, takes longer, or costs more than you thought.

In the gospels, Jesus encounters a rich young ruler who wants to gain eternal life. Jesus told him to sell everything he has, give it to the poor, and come follow me. The Bible says this man went away sad because he was very wealthy. For him, the price of execution was too great. So often we fall into this trap, too.

Solution: Count the cost beforehand

As you think and pray about what you want to accomplish in the new year, be realistic about what it is going to take to get there. I recently started exercising and eating healthier (for the most part). I have a goal to lose a certain amount of weight by a certain timeframe. However, I decided I would not use fad diets because they don’t work. I have used them before, and I all did was lose weight and gain it back when I started eating a regular diet again. Instead, I am taking the longer approach of learning how to eat properly so when I lose the weight, I can keep it off.

This longer approach may not be as exciting, but it is part of the cost required to achieve the goal. Make sure you count this cost upfront. This way, you will know the price of execution and know whether you want to pay that price.

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“Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up”

(Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).

One reason people fail to continue in their resolutions is because they have no accountability. There is no one in their life to encourage or motivate them towards their goal when they hit roadblocks. Trust me, roadblocks and setbacks will come. While there is a level of grit and determination required to hit any goal, you also need encouragement and accountability. When you have these people in your life, they keep you on track when the potential distractions of life come. 

Solution: Get an accountability partner 

I highly encourage you to find someone to share your resolution with. Make sure this person is one who will tell you the truth should you get off course or feel like giving up. When you want to give up or it feels like it is taking longer than it should, that’s where your accountability partner can help you. The truth about achieving anything is you don’t have to do this alone and God never intended you to. 

Final Thought

As you approach another new year, and hopefully you are facing it with excitement, prayerfully consider the things in your heart you want to accomplish. As you do that, be diligent in working towards them and commit them all to the Lord. Trust him to lead you and follow his direction. When you mix that with counting the cost and accountability, you position yourself to achieve what you have set out to do.

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