Some time ago, a friend and her husband opened their home to a troubled teen with whom they’d previously formed a relationship. Prior, they knew the girl had behavioral challenges but had assumed those stemmed entirely from her environment. As a result, they weren’t prepared for the intense challenges they soon came to face.
Instead, they felt certain that, if only they offered enough love and remained consistent in their parenting, the youth would undergo significant transformation. Instead, the teen escalated to dangerous levels, for them and herself—beyond the capabilities of even the numerous mental health professionals they sought for assistance. Eventually, the girl returned to her biological home, seemingly no better than when she’d left, and, initially, my friend struggled with confusion and doubt.
Had she and her husband heard God wrong when they sensed Him calling them to take in the child? Had they shown her too much, or not enough, love and grace? If only they had—or hadn’t—done such and such, would they have reached a different outcome?
Perhaps you’ve found yourself asking similar should’ve-could’ve questions, whether related to a child, an employee, a romantic partner, or a friend. And while there may indeed have been things you could have done differently, Scripture and experience demonstrate that some people will turn destructive, despite your purest and most loving actions.
We see this clearly in the events leading to and surrounding Jesus’ betrayal.
If you’re struggling with guilt regarding a relationship that went horribly wrong, you might gain comfort and insight from what Christ experienced from one of His supposed followers, His chosen twelve.
Here are 5 lessons we can learn from Judas, the man who betrayed Jesus into His enemies’ hands for 30 pieces of silver—the equivalent of 4 month’s wages:
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Upon recognizing a saboteur within our organization or social sphere, we might feel tempted to berate ourselves for allowing them to come close. We may feel as if we heard God wrong or somehow missed His guidance.
Granted, there are times when God warns us regarding people’s trustworthiness or lack thereof, and we fail to listen or heed His voice. When that occurs, praise the Lord that He always responds to our missteps, and even outright disobedience, with “grace upon grace” (John 1:16). But there are also times when we’ve remained humbly yielded to His will—we’ve reached out to that troubled teen, offered a recovering addict a job, or invited that potential friend to coffee—and the person repays our kindness with malice.
While we won’t always understand why God allows these situations, we can trust His intentions are good. Perhaps, in His desire to see all mankind experience spiritual freedom, He used us to offer the individual a chance to receive salvation. Maybe He was molding and strengthening us through the experience so that we would experience deeper intimacy and effectiveness through Him. Or, He might have used the occurrence to show those watching the contrast between love and hate, integrity and duplicity, and light and dark.
In regard to Judas, Scripture tells us he occupied his position as a disciple so that Scripture would be fulfilled. Unfortunately, we don’t always receive such a clear explanation. However, when we don’t understand the why, may we remember and drawn near to the Who—our faithful and ever-present Lord.
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As a former ministry leader, I understood the importance of ensuring everyone on my team knew, understood, and bought into our mission. When it appeared that one of them didn’t, I’d initiate a conversation in which we’d discuss whether God was perhaps calling them to serve elsewhere. But I’ve never kept anyone on who was pursuing a different goal.
Perhaps this is why I’m so intrigued by Jesus’ continual interactions with Judas. John 6:64 tells us that “Jesus knew from the beginning who they were who did not believe, and who it was who would betray Him” (NASB). Yet, we see no indication that He treated Judas any differently than the other disciples. If He had, they probably would’ve recognized who Christ referred to when He spoke of His betrayer. They might have even shown Judas such hostility that they drove him away. At least, I fear that’s how I would’ve responded.
Recognizing this, I wonder how many times God has withheld information from me knowing I lacked the spiritual maturity to respond as He desires.
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Many of us have loved ones we long to see develop a close, transformative relationship with Christ. People we’ve prayed for and interacted with, doing our best to reflect our Lord. Only to watch the individual grow more resistant to the gospel. In those situations, we might feel as if we’ve failed, thinking if only we had or hadn’t done or said such-and-such, then the person would’ve received Jesus’ life-saving grace.
But Scripture reminds us that some people can experience a personal encounter with Christ—or, as was the case with Judas, numerous, powerful encounters—without the experience ever reaching their hearts.
Consider all Judas witnessed in the three years He followed Christ. He saw the Lord touch and heal lepers, feed thousands with a boy’s meager lunch, quiet a raging storm, walk on water, confound the religious leaders, and even raise the dead. Yet, through it all, Judas remained spiritually dead, because he refused to respond to those miraculous displays of Jesus’ divinity with faith.
This also tells us that we don’t receive salvation by proximity or association. Eternal life comes to those who believe Christ is who He says He is and did what Scripture says He did, and who then choose to yield to Him as best we can.
The sad truth is this: not everyone recognizes the precious gift Christ offers us through His death and resurrection. While that mustn’t hinder our outreach, may this knowledge eliminate our guilt. May this also magnify our gratitude for the salvation we received, because we know, apart from God’s grace, we’d all become Judas.
And if we haven’t yet made a personal decision to follow Jesus, may Judas’ story motivate us to seek an authentic and growing relationship with the only One with the power to liberate us from sin and death. (If you would like to know more regarding what it looks like to live connected to God, this information might help.)
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Many years ago, a woman I served with grew frustrated with some decisions I’d made and started gathering others to her side. Soon, division and distrust pervaded our team. When her manipulation tactics failed to work, she turned to slander. This poked at some of my deepest insecurities, making me want to withdraw and self-protect.
My emotional angst caused me to shift my focus off what God was calling me to do and onto myself, my wounds, and my anxieties. But Jesus responded to my inner turmoil with healing grace, reminding me that He who had called me to my role retained full control of the ministry. His will would prevail, regardless of how insufficient I felt, how many challenges my team members and I faced, or how many people rose against us.
This is one of the most beautiful truths we see revealed through Judas’ betrayal. Numerous times, Scripture says the devil himself drove Judas' behavior.
Prior to the Passover, when the Jewish religious leaders were looking for a covert way to eliminate Jesus, Scripture says, "Then Satan entered Judas, called Iscariot, one of the Twelve. And Judas went to the chief priests and the officers of the temple guard and discussed with them how he might betray Jesus” (Luke 22:3-4, NIV).
Later, during the last meal that Jesus shared with His disciples, Scripture states, “As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him” (John 13:27a, NIV).
In those moments during which it appeared as if evil was winning, Scripture affirms that God was still driving His life-saving mission forward, and His Son would gain victory over all. Nothing and no one, not even all the forces of hell combined, can thwart God’s plans to bring order, beauty, and life.
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Romans 8:28 promises that “God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose” (NIV). We see examples of this throughout Scripture. In Genesis 37-50, God turns a braggart teenager who was betrayed by his brothers, thrown into a cistern, sold into slavery, and falsely accused and imprisoned into second-in-command over the most powerful nation at that time—for “the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20). He used the years a man named David spent fleeing an enraged and homicidal man named Saul to deepen his intimacy with God and equip him for his calling. And he used Judas, one of the twelve, to bring Jesus to the cross—the death that brought endless life.
The Bible tells us that we will have enemies, some readily recognized, others hidden, like sheep disguised as wolves. Sometimes, the Holy Spirit will make us alert to our saboteurs before they’re able to wreak havoc and cause pain. Other times, He’ll use the person and the apparent roadblocks they create for our good, the good of others, and His glory.
Either way, we can trust His faithful care, knowing He always retains full control and is, at this moment, writing a story with the most beautiful ending the world will ever know. He hasn’t, and won’t, relinquish the pen.
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