When our daughters were younger, and we were going on little sleep and abiding an infant and toddler schedule, we found ourselves sleepwalking into that in-between stage. Maybe you know what I mean? It’s where Christmas borderlines the place where everything is magical and fun, but little ones are still too young to “get it” all. So, my husband and I decided to place our focus on each other and claimed we would do our best to make it magical for our daughters once they got a bit older.
Well, that year, as we woke up on Christmas morning and came sauntering into the living room, my oldest daughter, who was three at the time, ran straight to the stockings, then paused, and turned to us in bewilderment. Four words came from her mouth, “Mommy, were you bad?” There hung all our stockings full of goodies, and then there was mine, with not even so much as a lump of coal. Let’s just say the glaring glances my husband received at that moment were anything but of a doting wife.
Now, I truly do not want to dishonor my darling hubby or paint him in a bad light in any way because he really had good intentions and actually had the goodies for my stocking; he just forgot to fill it. Sleep deprivation is no joke. Not to mention, he was putting together a rocking horse until midnight.
Truth be told, we have both learned so much since those early days in our marriage. Besides, the stories easily go both ways, I assure you. The year I gave my hubby football tickets to a game that already took place is still a running joke in our house. Ha!
But, as we once again gear up for the beauty, awe, and wonder this time of year brings, I am writing specifically for the gentlemen here in a means to simply clarify a little about what your lovely bride may want/need from you this Christmas.
Maybe you are raising littles and going on a few hours of sleep, or you have teens (the stage we are currently in) and trying to find ways to create the magic of Christmas in a different way. But I bet your precious wife has already been doing “all the things” from decorating to baking, striving to make this time of year filled with moments and memories your whole family will enjoy and love. So, join her and do this beautiful holiday season together. It will not only be a great way to bond but also such a blessing for your marriage.
And, with that, below are a few ways you can do just that and give your sweet wife a gift she will find simply charming: the gift of YOU!
1. Lend a Helping Hand
Here’s the thing, husbands, your wife is on operation overload. Not only does she have her regular tasks to complete and duties to fulfill, but now (while she may seem super giddy about it), she has the added Christmas responsibilities to boot. She has cookies to bake for the church event next week, candy canes to supply for the class party, food to prep for the neighborhood gathering, more decorations to put upstairs, and on and on. You see where I am going here, right?
If you really want to know something she would love for you to do, ask this simple question, “Honey, how can I help?” Watch her frazzled daze turn into a heartfelt smile in an instant. It could be fixing the lights on the tree or rearranging the garland on the mantle that she can’t manage to reach, but oftentimes, she may not even realize she needs help until you present it to her. We can so easily get in a mode sometimes.
So let her know you are not only willing, but ready to do what she needs to make Christmas a time filled with memories for all of you to enjoy!
2. Speak Her Love Language
While speaking your wife’s love language is essential year-round, there is something about laying it on extra thick this time of year. Trust me, speaking to her heart in this way will really make her melt. Almost as quick as a snowman in Texas!
If she likes words of affirmation, then let her know how nice the house looks. If she loves it when you do acts of service, then do the dishes one night or help out with the kids. If she likes physical touch, rub her feet after a long day. If she enjoys gifts, bring her home some flowers at random. If she really loves for you to spend time with her, then turn on her favorite Christmas movie and snuggle up.
When you make time to love your wife the way that touches her heart, especially during a busy time of year when she is caring and loving on others, it will make her feel oh so special. And, if you want to make her feel extra cherished, tell her just how much you love spending Christmas with her and your precious family!
3. Create a Magical Date Night
Date nights are always great, but this time of year opens doors for all kinds of magical fun! Get creative by looking into festive activities that are taking place in your area. It doesn’t have to be complex, just something you may not otherwise get to do, like ice skating, hitting a holiday market, or taking a cooking class. You could even take a stroll under the stars, so romantic!
If you want to win her over, then make all the plans, too. That way, all she has to do is show up! Hire the sitter, plan the event, and just tell her what she may need to bring and wear depending on the activity. Then go and have some fun!
Related Resource: Listen to The Real Relationship Talk Podcast!
Dana Che is the founder of Thrive Relationships, where she serves as a marriage and relationship coach and host of the Real Relationship Talk podcast. Dana's mission is singular: to help people thrive in their relationships with the Lord and with each other. In this episode, she shares five free Christmas gifts that your spouse will love this season. Gift-giving doesn’t always need to be focused on monetary gifts. Sometimes a thoughtful, free gift can make Christmas time extra special. To listen, just click the play button below!
4. Take the Kids
Things can get hectic fast this time of year. When all the kiddos are home from school, the schedule is a little crazy, and the December calendar is filled to the brim with various holiday activities, your wife will be longing for a much-needed break.
Next time you come home, and she gives you that look that says, “I’m tired,” then simply tell her you’ve got the kiddos. Then whisk them away and tell your sweet wife you’ll be back a little later. Trust me, she will be ever so thankful for a night off! It will not only fill her empty tank and allow her to rest and refuel; it will give you a great opportunity to bond and have fun with your precious little people.
5. Let Her Shop Alone
As a mom of three daughters, let me tell you how amazing it is to shop by myself. Yep, pretty amazing! When your wife goes out alone and gets to shop, whether for party foods at the grocery store or to a department store to get gifts for all of you, it just does something for her soul!
She can actually think about what she needs and wants to get without all the little distractions, clamoring voices, and extra little items that just so happen to jump in her cart when she isn’t looking. The best part is that shopping solo may even help you stay on that Christmas budget. Now, that’s a win for you both!
6. Allow Her to Be a Guest
‘Tis the season for hosting, and all that comes with it. From planning to prepping up to the day of the event, I am pretty sure she will want it to go off without a problem and be positively perfect. While these events are fun and she may simply enjoy them, when you help her and, better yet, allow her to step away from the responsibilities, enjoy the party, and simply be a guest, wow! She’ll take notice, I promise!
Just how do you do that? You help. Maybe you welcome guests and take their coats or serve or pass around drinks. Instead of leaving the entertainment to your wife alone, you host- together. When the party comes to a place where guests are pleasantly enjoying themselves, tell her to step away from playing “hostess with the mostess” and enjoy the party with her.
7. Don’t Forget Her Stocking
The story from the beginning about my sad little stocking may give you a little indication as to why this one is so important to your beloved wife. At the same time, I realize this can be a simple mistake and not meant to provoke any hurt feelings. So, with that said, start thinking about it now.
But, maybe you simply don’t know what to get her, or gifts, much less stocking stuffers, just aren’t your forte. Well, no worries, try some of the gift ideas below, but remember that you know your wife better than anyone, so be sure to get little things that you know she’ll love.
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Bath Stuff: bath gel, bombs, salts, steamers, and scrubs
Hand lotions: festive or winter scents are always a bit hit
Jewelry: many places have great deals on packages of necklaces and earrings
Nail care kits or nail polish
Fuzzy socks or soft gloves
Hair clips, headbands, hair ties, or scrunchies
Chocolates or candy
And with that, I wish you and your beautiful wife a Merry Christmas. One that is filled with precious memories you can share together, making a lasting impact on your marriage. May God richly bless you both!
Originally published Tuesday, 12 December 2023.
