How to Show Your Child Love at Every Age

When our children are newborns, we consider them adorable. Most parents just want to sit and bask at this new life. This is pure love: we love them even though they have not done anything to deserve love. We love them just because they exist.

Then the baby cries and our initial instinct is to feed him or her. This too is love because we want to see our child grow. But sometimes they’re not hungry, and so begins the mystery of figuring out this new person who has entered our world. We’ll be doing this for a couple of years until they are verbal. This too is love because we always want what’s best for them even as they go through the “terrible twos”, the “trying threes”, the “feisty fours” and the “fearless fives.” As they become more vocal and limber, love in the form of necessary guidance takes place. As parents, we begin to establish boundaries, teach God’s Word, speak in different tones to convey different messages, and we introduce the concept of punishment for bad behavior. Every day as parents we see growth and we marvel from where we started while we begin to look ahead.

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Give him lots of hugs, cuddles and kisses

Put your phone away, sit down with her and play with whatever she wants you to play with.

Make up a fun game that tests his coordination – kids love it when parents use their imaginations!

Smile at her often (smiles are so underrated but they remind our little ones that we enjoy them, even when they wear us out or frustrate us)

Call him by his name – kids love to hear their parents say their names in a loving way, not just when they’re being scolded.

Children at this age are naturally in awe of everything – tap into that awe by telling her all about God’s big, amazing world and how much he loves everything in it.

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Now our children are in the formative years, where what they learn or experience will shape the rest of their lives. At this stage, you really begin to know what kind of parent you are. As a Christian parent, the Bible is our guidebook for loving our children and “raising them up in the way they should go.” So whether homeschool or traditional school your kids, we want to help them learn to view and understand the world through God’s Truth. In this stage there is also a lot of grunge work, which seems to have no end in sight: making lunches, cleaning house, doing laundry, shuttling your kids to and from activities. As a parent, you help your child learn about character and discipline by making them participate in the grunge work, because love won’t let a child be irresponsible.

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Tell her what you love and appreciate about her – it’s easy to say, “I love you.” It takes a little more work to say, “I love how imaginative you are!”

Schedule one-on-one time with each of your children regularly. Get out of the house, put down your phone and spend time talking and just enjoying their company.

Find a place in your home to display your child’s creative projects: art, Lego creations, pictures he’s taken, that test he aced – whatever he’s proud of, show him you’re proud of him too.

Keep her world structured, especially bedtime. Children thrive in routine, and they particularly need parents who lovingly prioritize sleep.

Give him responsibilities in the family and help him see that you take his role and responsibilities seriously.

Make time in your family schedule for time together where you do family devotions and talk about God’s Truth.

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Those formative years are the building blocks for the teen years. You’ve helped your children discover their talents and provided opportunities for them to explore and grow. Love at this age is a balance between letting them enjoy the last of their childhood but also beginning to teach and pass on responsibilities and guide them in handling their problems. It’s spending time with the teenager and hearing what makes them tick. It’s putting up with a teen’s bad moods yet letting them know when they’ve crossed the line. It’s eating together or just being together as often as possible. It’s helping them recognize that their life is their responsibility, therefore, they should make wise choices. It’s also letting them see the consequences of bad decisions. It’s feeding your offspring with God’s Word and principles so they understand the basis for making decisions. It is learning not to sweat the small stuff and helping them prioritize between important and urgent things. It’s slowly but surely letting the youngster go.

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Take time to celebrate who she is as a person, not just her academic achievements.

Find one thing you both enjoy (music, movies, sports, anything!) and make an effort to enjoy those things together.

Ask his opinion on things, and thank him for sharing his thoughts and ideas.

Allow her to make her own choices, even mistakes, and then be there to talk advice, counsel and support.

Listen to him, and don’t instantly judge or rush to fix his problems.

Apologize when you mess up, and tell her what you’ve learned from it.

Give him a journal and a special Bible if he doesn’t have one yet, and have time with him where you are both in the Word, studying it together.

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Our blossoming young adults feel grown, but to us parents, they’re still our babies. As parents, we marvel at how fast the years have flown. We recognize that our child is coming into his or her own. We show love at this stage by being there, by being a sounding board, by providing resources, by praying for them, and by letting them go like the mama eagle who has been training her baby all these years so that she can fly. It may seem scary for the young adult and it may be cloaked in bravado, but the parents have loved their offspring well and they know that they’re children are equipped to fly. As a young adult, you don’t really believe this yet, but you will, as you fly and soar with your parent’s love as your anchor. After all of this, we will continue to love you by being your biggest cheerleaders.

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Text him something funny, or just to say hi.

Hand over more responsibilities and decisions concerning her future – you’re helping her get ready to leave the nest.

Be a listening ear more than you give advice at this stage.

Celebrate big milestones

Help her set up a budget and walk her through money management

Surprise him with an unexpected gift that shows him you know him.

Tell her you love her – even if she doesn’t say it back.

Ask him for his thoughts on challenging faith questions, and see what he says.

Pray – pray with your child, and for your child as he makes his way into the world.

At the end of the day, parents are doing the best they can with what they have. You don’t know what kind of child you will have – if the child will be easy to love or an aberration. But what you do know is that you will do the best you can at all the various stages to love, protect and provide for your offspring. In the process, you will pass on guiding principles like: be kind, wash your hands, mind your manners, respect your elders, learn to read, manage your money, get eight hours of sleep, know how to cook, take nothing for granted and love God. Your love will point to the greater love: God’s love – and he will be with you and your child every step of the way.

Nylse is a Christian wife and a mother of four who loves life and inspiring others. She likes to have fun but is very clear on who she is and Whose she is. A prolific thinker, she blogs to encourage others from a Christian perspective at www.lifenotesencouragement.com. She can be found online on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

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