I work as a part-time workplace chaplain, aiming to be a safe place for people to share things that weigh heavily on their hearts. At this time of year, family dynamics are a common source of anxiety and stress. Concerns, worries, and general angst cover many topics and situations, but the overall message is clear: interacting with our families is hard work. I would take this sentiment further and say dealing with people is complex, and relationships are messy.
In a counseling session a few years ago, I expressed frustration over a friend's lack of care in our recent interaction. I spent a good portion of time listing all her faults, how she could have handled the situation better, and then detailing all the ways she needed to change. My counselor looked at me and said, "Well, you have two options. You can forgive, seek reconciliation, or cut ties and abandon the friendship." "What? I didn't want to lose my friend; I just wanted her to act the way I thought she should." As soon as the words escaped my lips, I knew what choice I was going to make.
Many of us have the same choice when dealing with our families. Will we choose to love the ones that drive us crazy, or will we avoid them altogether? The benefits we experience of being a part of a family far outweigh the negatives. Thus, we take the good with the bad in our relationships, all while giving mercy and grace to others as Christ first extended to us.
1. A Prayer of Blessing Over Our Families
"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26 NIV
Heavenly Father, we come to you this holiday season; we ask that our families experience and show gratitude for all the blessings you bestow in our lives. Lord, we know that grace is abundant and falls on both the righteous and unrighteous; how grateful we are that you extend mercy and love on your creation over and over. We ask that our gatherings be filled with peace as we seek to come together and celebrate the gift of your son, Jesus. Lord, help us keep Christ at the center of our gatherings. May we prepare our hearts and minds as we spend time with our families worshipping, honoring, and remembering the season's real meaning. We love you, Lord. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ." Ephesians 1:3 NIV
2. A Prayer Over Our Conversations
"A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart." Luke 6:45 NLT
Heavenly Father, we ask that you help us not only control the words of our mouths but that our heart desires to bring you glory and honor in all that we say and do. Sometimes, we want to get the last word, shout a defense, or share an unprompted opinion. Please set a guard on our hearts and a trap on our mouths so that we will not be the source of harm or hurt. Instead, let our words be like a honeycomb sweet to the soul,l as it says in Proverbs, bringing healing and helpfulness.
If a situation begins to get heated, please give us discernment in not only the words we speak but also our tone. Let us lean into the Holy Spirit's prompting should we leave the table, walk out of the room, or dismiss ourselves from the gathering. If unkind words are spoken to or about us, give us the strength to forgive quickly. Let us know what is worth addressing and what is in the family's best interest to let go. May our words reflect a heart's posture of humility. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
"You know this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Now everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger." James 1:19 NASB
3. A Prayer for Reconciliation
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32 NIV
Heavenly Father, as we prepare the guest lists this holiday season, we ask that you help us seek reconciliation where needed in our relationships. Please expose bitterness, resentment, and any hurt we are holding on to that would keep us from experiencing the holidays with our family. Lord, we know some have experienced unthinkable harm, both physically and mentally, at the hands of a family member. While it was never planned for one human to hurt another, you can redeem any situation. We pray that if people are experiencing deep hurt from childhood wounds, you will place your hand of comfort and peace in their aching hearts.
Lord, we know you have the power to change hearts and minds, and we ask that you soften our hearts to forgive and move on. If we offend, intentionally or unintentionally, prompt us to ask for forgiveness quickly. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
"Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." Colossians 3:13
4. A Prayer to Display the Fruits of the Spirit
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things, there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23 NIV
Heavenly Father, you know it is not our nature to practice the fruits of the Spirit, especially when we are stressed, overwhelmed, or have high tensions. We are so grateful that you gave us an Advocate who doesn't leave us in our weakness but instead, through the Holy Spirit's power, helps us and gives us strength to display love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. May we always have the mindset of Christ, one of humility and placing others' needs before our own.
It is a beautiful gift to have people in our lives, family members, who exhibit these qualities. May we follow their example as they follow You. If we are struggling with one of these traits, let us not be too proud to ask that our brothers and sisters come to you in prayer on our behalf. In Jesus' name, Amen.
"Those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh; but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit." Romans 8:5 NIV
5. Prayers for Peace
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Colossians 3:15 NIV
Heavenly Father, we ask that you quiet our hearts and minds and help us feel at peace during this holiday season. Over the next few weeks, we will need to make difficult decisions that may upset those we love. Give us peace in our planning, ensuring we have prayed to you before acting. We know you are the peace-granter; help us experience your comforting hand.
How wonderful would it be if we experienced "peace on earth," but Lord, we know that one day you will make all things new, and there will be no more pain, no more sin, and every tear will be wiped from our eyes. We look forward to the day of our return with anticipation. As we wait, let us wait well. Giving you all the glory and honor. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3 NIV
As you gather with your family this holiday season, I pray your time together is filled with joy, love, and peace. Gathering with our loved ones is truly that, a gift. Let's all, if not for a few weeks, hours, or even moments, put aside our differences, opinions, and preferences. The Lord made us for community, for better or worse, and planned for us to experience life alongside other human beings. But we, you and I, are flawed. We desperately need a Savior who can accomplish what we cannot: a sinless life. And so, this holiday season, may we take time to celebrate and thank God from whom all blessings flow, Amen.
She lives in Upstate South Carolina with her husband and three young girls, where she serves as director of women's ministries at her church. Her passion is teaching the Bible to women, equipping them to live with an eternal perspective. Invite Laura to speak at your next event or learn more: www.LauraRBailey.com
Originally published Monday, 25 November 2024.
