Chapter 4 - Forgiving What You Can't Forget

We are back with the iB Book Club, discussing Chapter 4 of Lysa Terkeurst's book, Forgiving What You Can't Forget.

This chapter was the toughest one for me. It was full of simple truths that packed one of those holy punches in the gut, ya know?

Lysa begins the chapter by walking us through a counseling session she had with her therapist. She told her therapist that she wasn't sure how to begin forgiving if she didn't feel ready to let go of what had happened to her. Her therapist asked her one simple question: "Do you want to heal?" Lysa said yes, and her therapist responded that she was already in the process of forgiving. Forgiveness doesn't wait on a feeling. Instead, it waits on our decision to move forward, no matter if that's a linear growth or a one-step-forward-and-two-steps-backward sort of journey.

God never called us to outpace and outperform our humanity. Such a feat is impossible–hence our need for Christ as the perfect God-man to save us all.

However, as Lysa shares, we must be willing to take that first pivotal step in deciding that we do want to heal and that we are prepared for the adventure–no matter how hard, flawed, or messy it may be.

Lysa further divulged this therapy session, explaining that her therapist taught her to create note cards for all the ways she was hurt. Once she had her list and laid all the cards out, she was told to pick up a red felt square and cover each note card, audibly declaring that she forgave _________ for __________, but in whatever ways she wasn't quite ready to forgive, Jesus' blood could cover that space.

This statement showcased two crucial truths: 1. She was willing to forgive, even while knowing she didn't quite feel like totally forgiving and letting go of everything thing that had happened. 2. When she didn't feel like forgiving, God's grace, Christ's blood, could intercede and melt her heart in ways she never could on her own.

We don't find the ability to forgive within ourselves. Jesus' power is where we discover the freeing, often flawed journey of reaching forgiveness.

Originally published Thursday, 08 September 2022.